[Verse 1]
So I'm home again on a Thursday night
When everyone I know is out on the town being less than polite to each other
Hoping someone will give them attention, a telephone number, or free beer
At least that's what I hear

[Verse 2]
And as I watch the local news
The neighbors are throwing a kegger bigger than Bonnaroo
The hallway is crowded and people are shouting
Considerate phrases like "Chug this"
And "Come on baby, just one kiss"

[Chorus]
But I should make bad decisions and hit on a stranger
Smash my television
Or put my life in danger
Cause I wanna know what it's like
To try to start a bar fight
Instead of getting cozy with a glass of red wine
Watching every episode of Family Guy
And they say that I should get out more
And they're probably right, right
They're probably right

[Verse 3]
So I got a call from Paul and he's high
He said, "This party is sick, you better come quick, try to stop by."
I said "I'm already out and I'm really quite busy."
But who am I kidding?
I'm doing laundry
No wonder no one calls me

[Chorus]
But I should make bad decisions and hit on a stranger
Smash my television
Or put my life in danger
Cause I wanna know what it's like
To try to start a bar fight
Instead of getting cozy with a glass of red wine
Reading Harry Potter for the 17th time
And they say that I should get out more
And they're probably right, right
They're probably right