IM GONNA DIE SOON - XXX

I'm gonna die soon, and I'm not sure when, I can't say goodbye, I don't know how to, if I could than I never cared, the point is, I'm at the end, I can either reach my prime or I can fold now, I've never folded in my life on what I wanted, but, I'm scared of myself, I've done the craziest things you could imagine, I wanna say I've seen it all, but I can't and thats what scares me, I'm scared of myself, what if I get worse than this? what if I hurt the people I love, what if I keep on with my insanity, I never counted on having to be insane forever, only momentarily to achieve what I wanted, I'm scared, I've never been real deal scared before, but I wanna cry, I wanna let go, and I'm ready, but that "what if" is that twinke of light for me, but it's disappearing, because I'm forcing it too, after me, after you, who's next who else do I have to kill , who else do I have to break, I want to end this now, myself - xxx