[EMBASSY OFFICIALS]
Oh, my dear how boring
He's defecting
Just like all the others
He's expecting
Us to be impressed
With what he's done here
But he hasn't stopped
To think about the paperwork
His gesture causes--
We've an embassy to run here

If these people can't strike
Blows for freedom
With a valid visa
We don't need 'em
If we seem offhand
Then please remember
This is nothing very special
He's the fourth we've had
Since last November
Who do these foreign
Chappies think they are?

[OFFICIAL #1]
And when he's safely in the West
He'll be the subject to discuss
The media will lionize him
Fame and fortune plus
[EMBASSY OFFICIALS]
No-one will recall
It's thanks to us

[OFFICIAL #1, spoken]
You have a wife?

[ANATOLY, spoken]
Yes

[OFFICIAL #3, spoken]
You have two children?

[ANATOLY, spoken]
Yes

[OFFICIAL #2, spoken]
And they're not coming with you?

[ANATOLY, spoken]
No, not for the moment

[OFFICIAL #4, spoken]
You play chess. You are good at it?

[OFFICIAL #3 whispers in #4's ear]
[OFFICIAL #4, spoken]
Oh. I hear you're world champion

[ANATOLY, spoken]
Since yesterday

[EMBASSY OFFICIALS, spoken]
That's still good

(sung)
Have you an appointment
With the consul?
If you don't we know
What his response'll be
He will not see you--
With respect it buggers up
His very taxing schedule
Pushing peace and understanding
Let us hope this won't affect it

Far too many jokers cross the border
Not a single document in order
Russia must be empty
Though we're all for
Basic human rights
It makes you wonder
What they built the Berlin Wall for--
Who do these foreign
Chappies think they are?
And when you've
Filled in all the forms
And been passed clear of all disease
Debriefed, debugged
Dedrugged, disarmed
And disinfected, please
Don't forget the guys
Who cut your keys