[Verse]
Go to Carlthorp even if you’re freaky
Practice Czerny till your fingers bleed
Do some service, maybe candy striping
Things like that will round out your SATs

[Chorus]
These are the rules of life
And we must comply if we wanna be written up in history
These are the rules of life
And we must abide if we wanna be everything we’re meant to be in life
These are simply the rules of life

[Verse]
Work at Berkshire, slowly move your way up
Federal Express don’t come overnight for free
Find a partner, someone to share your life with
Someone to soothe you when you catch a dread disease

[Chorus]
These are the rules of life
And we must comply if we wanna be written up in history
These are the rules of life
And we must abide if we wanna be everything we’re meant to be in life

[Bridge]
And then they’ll fuck you, fuck you
Yeah, it’s just as simple as that, woah
Show them what you got
You little snot
Give it a go
[Solo]

[Chorus]
These are the rules of life
And we must comply if we wanna be written up in history
These are the rules of life
And we must abide if we wanna be everything we’re meant to be
These are the rules of life [x4]
These are simply the rules of life