History Bombs
History of World War I (in One Take)
[Moderator]
One bullet from a young Serbian's gun
His trigger to spark for World War One
But how did one shot prove so lethal
As to kill over 17 million people?
It's time for the history bomb of World War One
Let's set the scene

Late 19th century, Germany was booming
But there were signs of a storm brewing
Her emperor Kaiser Wilhelm the second
Had plans to teach his rivals a lesson

[Kaiser Wilhelm II]
Now Deutschland is high, but I'll take her higher
One word, two syllables... Empire!
Like Britain, I will rule sea and land
Watch out world, it's the Fatherland

[Moderator]
It's worth pointing out that the Kaiser was mentally unstable
But unfortunately for the rest of Europe, he was in charge
Germany's neighbours started to take notice

[General Joffre]
Hey Russia, have you heard this guy?
I'm thinking of putting my army on standby

[Tsar Nicholas II]
I know, cousin Willie is giving me nausea
And now he's signed an agreement with Austria?

[General Joffre]
Zut alors! Well we've got your back
We'll be here if the Kaiser attacks!

[Moderator]
It was against that backdrop that
Gavrilo Princip, a young Serbian nationalist
Shot dead Archduke Franz Ferdinand
The heir to the Austrian throne
Setting of a terrible chain of events
Are you ready?
Let's go!
Austria and Germany attack into Serbia
Who are allies with Russia, didn't mention that earlier
Russia get ready to advance
And that brings in their pals, yup, France
Germany attack France as quick as they can
Adopt an approach called the "Schlieffen Plan"
They go through Belgium, awful decision
As Belgium have friends, namely Great Britain
In come Italy
Now let's join the advance
With the first British troops fighting in France

[British Officer]
Forward!
Get down boys, we must take cover
Or we'll be more machine gun fodder
Good Lord, those Howitzer shells are big!
Without delay: Quick, chaps, dig!

[Moderator]
By November 1914
400 miles of barbed wire and mud
Stretched from the Alps to Belgium
Commonwealth soldiers arrived
From Australia, Africa and India
But still more troops were needed
[British Colonel]
Men of Britain, there's much to do
Your time is now
Your country needs you!

[British Soldier]
Sir, we've just had news from Gallipoli

[British Colonel]
Ah yes, against the Turk, a resounding victory?

[British Soldier]
No Sir, 500,000 casualties
And a telegram: "Send help please"

[British Colonel]
Oh dear

[Moderator]
Back in the trenches there was more to fear
As chemical weapons began to appear

[British Officer]
Gas! Gas! An ecstasy of fumbling
No mask? A damp cloth's better than nothing!

[Young British Soldier]
Sir, I can't see! The gas stings and burns!

[British Officer]
Come here soldier, let's get you to a nurse

[Moderator]
Behind the front line, volunteer nurses
Tended to the injured soldiers
Both at home and on the front line
Women made tremendous contributions
To the war effort

[Nurse]
Hold still, deep breaths, I'll soon be through
It's barbaric what they've done to you

[Blond British Soldier]
Thank you miss, you're a real pearl
These trenches are no place for a girl

[Nurse]
Neither are they fit for a man!
But we're here to help the best we can
And who do you think manufactured your gun?
Us girls will see this war is won!

[Moderator]
1916 saw terrible losses on the Western Front
The Germans advanced at Verdun
And the British went forward at the Somme
But neither battle proved decisive
Meanwhile on the Eastern Front
The Russians were achieving some successes

[British Soldier]
Sir, news from the Russian army

[British Officer]
Blimey that pigeon's flown a long way!
Let me guess, they've been pushed back?

[British Soldier]
No, actually they've had a good crack
General Brusilov makes good progress
His wide attacks put Fritz under stress
He's advanced no less than 60 miles

[British Officer]
Superb, great news, I like his style!

[British Soldier]
Oh, hang on, and now his attack's been stalled
German reserves have been called

[British Officer]
Oh, blast!

[Moderator]
It would take new tactics and technology
To break the deadlock on either front
In 1917 Germany made a fatal calculation
By pursuing a ruinous naval strategy

[Kaiser Wilhelm II]
This war has gone on long enough
It's time for Deutschland to get tough!
The Allies need imports to stay alive
Cut this off and they cannot survive!

[Moderator]
German U-Boats attacked Allied shipping to cut off supply
Critically they attacked American ships
And in response the United States declared war on Germany
It would take another year however
For American troops to actually arrive in Europe
In the meantime a Russian revolutionary seized his moment

[Vladimir Lenin]
My Russian brothers, listen in
Let me introduce myself
Vladimir Lenin
I promise to take this country far
But first, we need to kick out the Tsar
Good, that was easy, now everyone's equal
We'll have bread, land and peace for the people
I think Mother Russia's had enough of this war
I'll meet with the Germans to settle the score!

[Moderator]
The meeting took place in November 1917
And Russian land was divided by Germany
Into independent states, including the Ukraine
With Russia now out the war
The Germans moved all efforts to the Western Front
And planned a colossal effort in the Spring of 1918
Ultimately the offensive failed
And, at this pivotal moment
The Americans finally arrived

[American Soldier]
Hey, what's up!
No photographs please
We got your memo and...
Geez, things have gotten out of hand
Good thing you called up Uncle Sam!
The enemy had better reach for the skies
We'll light it up like the 4th of July!

[Voice]
Get down, you idiot!

[Moderator]
By May 1918, 200,000 American troops
Were arriving per month
And after withstanding the German offensive
New technology and tactics
Proved decisive for the allies

[British officer]
Right chaps, this is it!
We have orders to make the hit
Keep behind the tanks, and use the Lewis gun
A creeping barrage will shatter the hun
Our planes will protect from the skies
Then we'll hold the line until support arrives

[Moderator]
Finally the Allies got some traction
Putting the Germans out of action
At 11am on the 11th of November
The guns fell silent upon German surrender
All in all, a tragic loss
Europe secured, but at what cost?
A generation lost
We are forever in debt
100 years hence
Lest we forget