WWE
Feb 10th, 2014 Raw Recap & Review
Live from Staples Center Arena in Los Angeles, California. 17,491 in attendance according to Cole.
Announced by JBL, Michael Cole and Jerry “The King” Lawler

The show opened in memoriam of Frank Bullock.

Betty White was announced as the evening’s special guest star. She came out to the stage with Big Show, the crowd cheered her on. Show asked her what she had in store for the evening and she said she was going to “kick some ass”. Cue Triple H’s entrance music, Triple H and wife Stephanie McMahon made their way to the ring after hugging the special guest star as Betty and Big Show stayed on stage.

A slight CM Punk chant starts as Triple H takes the mic, he works through and the chant is over within seconds. He announces that last week’s Raw main event where Daniel Bryan defeated Randy Orton to become “considered” as the face of the company was still valid, as was consideration for all other members of the upcoming Elimination Chamber. Randy Orton interrupts and makes his way to the ring. More very short lived CM Punk chants as Orton takes the mic. Orton apologizes for his actions and expresses his desire to be the face of the company and vows to defeat Cena in tonight’s main event, which I’m sure all fans are super ecstatic about. A Daniel Bryan chant begins, this chant gets acknowledged by Stephanie. Possibly the most apparent CM Punk chant begins, however its still short-lived. As he claims that he’s the face of the WWE, Daniel Bryan’s music kicks in and the crowd instantly begins the Yes! chant. Stephanie warns the two superstars and all other superstars that they need to no longer interrupt her and Triple H when they’re speaking and will now need to make appointments. Bryan demands a match against Kane. Stephanie lets him know that Kane is on administrative leave for a week. Randy Orton chimes in as resident ass kisser defending Triple H and Stephanie. Triple H announces that Daniel Bryan will not have a match tonight because it’s “best for business.” Crowd boos and starts a No! chant. As entertaining as it is, Daniel Bryan came off a bit toddler like with the No! bit. Everyone leaves the ring to Orton’s music.

Match #1
Cody Rhodes, Goldust, Rey Mysterio vs The Wyatt Family (6-man tag match)
Rey Mysterio comes to the ring, followed by Cody Rhodes and Goldust. As the latter are walking out, the Wyatt’s music interrupts. Their entrance is still not old yet. They make the following match significantly more interesting. Eric Rowan and Cody Rhodes start the 6-man tag match off. Michael Cole says that the Rhodes brothers have fallen on “hard times”, which I know as a reference to the best Rhodes, Dusty. He had a killer promo back in the day talking about “hard times.” Kudos to Michael Cole, whom I usually think sucks dogshit. Rey Mysterio and crew run the Wyatt’s out of the ring. Order gets restored as Bray get in the ring. Does Luke Harper look like a giant, shittier Mick Foley to anyone else? Mysterio gets tagged in and does some of his traditional flips and spins and shit, showing us the same routine for the last decade. Michael Cole: “there’s bodies everywhere!” moments later JBL: “bodies flying everywhere!” Great announcing guys. Bray pulls the ol Sister Abigail on Mysterio for the win as Rey tried to land a 619 - the whole thing was aight. After the match Bray game a mini-promo, of the same fashion he’s been doing the last month.

Our announcers give us a recap of Roman Reigns’ Royal Rumble performance which is followed by The Shield cutting a promo on the Wyatt’s. Attention gets drawn to Dean Ambrose and how he hasn’t defended his US title in forever, even Roman joins in. He issues an open challenge to anyone on the roster.

Cut to backstage and Betty White is hanging out with some of the Divas. The New Age Outlaws step in on the fun and ask Betty to get a cup of tea. I wish the whole thing would have been funnier. Remembering the hey-day for the Outlaws, I feel like it could have been better. Outlaws warn Betty White that the new divas were going to try and pull a prank on her.

Match #2
Santino Marella with Emma vs Fandango with Summer Rae (Singles match)
Santino Marella comes out with Emma. I literally couldn’t care less about Santino’s gimmick, Emma’s is kind of dorky, but because she’s got looks, it makes it… Worth it? Fandango and Summer Rae strut in. The crowd reacts as expected.The Miz comes down again, as he’s done once before, and complains that he’s not apart of Raw. I get the idea that he’s trying to steal CM Punk’s gimmick a little bit. Which sucks balls because CM Punk actually doesn’t respect the Miz (for good reason). Oh yeah, there’s a match going on. Fandango performs a leg drop off the top rope (not too shabby) and gets the pin and win.

Sheamus cuts a shit-tacular promo about wanting to win at Elimination Chamber. We find out that he’s going to be up next in a tag team match with Christian.

Match #3
Christian & Sheamus vs The Real Americans with Zeb Colter (Tag team match)
Christian comes to the ring, followed by Sheamus. Their entrance music was significantly louder than the crowd reaction. The Real Americans come out, Zeb walks from the stage to the ring trash talking the two because they were both gone for a bit and that they’re both foreigners. Cesaro gets a reaction from the crowd. We the People! I’m kind of surprised this gimmick has gone on for so long, to me it’s whatever. Not the worst thing that WWE’s putting out these days. Because his name is Jack Swagger, I really, really don’t like him. But Zeb’s got some humor in him. We the People chant kicks in a couple times during the match. Cesaro looks like he’s the best in the ring. Sheamus had a little in the tank, but a lot like Christian, I don’t give two shits about either of them. The loudest CM Punk chant starts after Cesaro boots Sheamus off the apron. The show cut to commercial so I don’t know how long it lasted. Christian looks like he’s getting more into wrestling shape than his recent matches, which is good. Cesaro had some awesome ass toss up/uppercut move. Swagger and Christian have a nice little desperate tag action. Cesaro spins Christian out of the ring, which gets me dizzy as hell. Sheamus lands the Brogue Kick and pins Swagger after some decent shenanigans between all four guys.

John Cena promo. Adult boos and kid cheers. Cena acknowledges the WWE Universe’s desire for change. He vows to end his rivalry with Randy Orton after tonight’s match. But in order for any of the new guys to become the next face of the company, they’ve gotta go through him. Understandable, since he’s been the goddamn face for a touch too long.

Announcers show us some Batista bombs and try and hype him up and sell him a little more. Soon they’ll realize we don’t give a shit.

Match #4
Dolph Ziggler vs Alberto Del Rio (Singles match)
Dolph Ziggler heads on down, Alberto Del Rio’s music kicks in before Ziggler can even make it to the ring. Me personally, I love Dolph Ziggler. His gimmick is kind of shitty, but he’s fantastic. Alberto Del Rio on the other hand… Ziggler opens the match out hustling the living hell of Del Rio. But in standard WWE fashion, Del Rio lands some donkeyfuck kick and pins Ziggler for the win. When’s Dolph gonna get some shine? World’s more entertaining than Del Rio. After the match, Del Rio shows some true heel colors and attacks Ziggler a bit more. Seeing as how he pulled off only two offensive moves during the match, it makes sense. Batista makes his way down and instantly spears Del Rio. Initially the crowd cheers, because thats what you do when the hell is about to get ass whooped. But then by the time the two are outside of the ring, they’re booing again. Davey Batista Bombs Del Rio through the announcers table. Poor Dolph.

The Bella Twins push the WWE Network some more, when they’re done we cut back to the boys who are now forced to announce the evening without a table, so it’s a little funny to see them just sitting there. They talk some more about the Network. After a commercial break we have Triple H talking to Batista backstage about his antics and shitstomping of Del Rio, (Triple H biffs and says Del Wio), I swear to god I heard a faint CM Punk chant that got turned down. The two guys have an extremely queer moment. Triple H tells Batista that he’ll have his match against Del Rio at Elimination Chamber and that he’s “only looking out for you” to which Batista replies with the worst acting possible “I guess things really have changed around here.”

We hear some more about Lita being inducted into the Hall of Fame and several wrestler’s thoughts on her. Good for her, she was a real woman. Ultimate Warrior and Jake the Snake are mentioned as well. New Age Outlaws and Betty White are backstage at their tea party. Road Dogg slips something into Betty’s tea as she’s checking out Billy’s title. She’s keen on the situation and asks for some lemon, the boys get up to get her some as she switches the drinks, leaving Billy the tainted drink. Best part of the whole thing is when Betty’s checking out Billy’s title he’s “sweet talking” her by saying “six time, yeah six time.”

Match #5
Ryback & Curtis Axle vs The Usos (Tag team match)
We come back from commercial break to Ryback and Curtis Axle in the ring awaiting their challengers, the over-zealous Usos. These mo’fuckers can wrestle, but their gimmick reaks of 2003. Oh well. Some humor about, New Age Outlaws join the announcing crew to watch the match, so we’ll get to witness Billy Gunn’s side effects. One of the Usos throws a “suck it” in the Outlaws’ direction. Ryback the monster is throwing down in the ring. And now Billy Gunn is sick, it’s awesome. Road Dogg: “Billy for once in your life, you don’t look good.” The crowd starts a Goldberg chant to mock Ryback. Road Dogg asks Billy if it was the catering, JBL says “the catering was pretty bad”, Road Dogg responds “I liked it” in the best calm fashion. Usos pull off some high flying shit that actually is cool, they pick up the win. Road Dogg provokes the Usos as Billy runs up the stage and to the back clearly holding in a shit.

Match #6
Dean Ambrose with the Shield vs Mark Henry (US Championship singles match)
The Shield make their way down to the ring for Ambrose’s open title defense. They stand in the ring awaiting for someone’s music to cue. After a moment we get Mark Henry. Hell yes. Ambrose appears a little worried, his partners reassure him. But hell, Mark Henry’s return! Not a bad comeback match, and I’m glad to see Ambrose defending the title. The two are a bit sluggish in the ring. After a commercial break, the crowd is wrapping up a CM Punk chant, which I’ve read that Seth Rollins actually acknowledged and said “CM who?” Henry tosses the fuck out of Ambrose from the top rope onto the mat, followed by a spinebuster. Henry lands the World’s Strongest Slam and covers for the pin, but as expected, Rollins interferes DQing the match. Henry does his best to fight off The Shield, but Roman spears him out of the ring.

My favorite part was as the Shield are walking away, they’re lingering a touch more than normal and Ambrose says “lets wait, I might want to see the replay.” The Wyatt’s head down to the ring for a stare off. During the staredown the crowd starts a Yes! chant. The Shield are the first to move as they hop up on the ring apron, then the Wyatt’s. Then Roman enters the ring, then Bray. The crowd is on edge… Then the Wyatt’s completely back out of the ring and up the ramp smiling. I mean, I get it. I know that we all want to see them brawl but they’ve gotta preserve the shit for PPV.

Wiz Khalifa in the crowd, as is Stephan Bonnar. WWE supports Black History Month by honoring Bobo Brazil. The announcers pay their respects as well.

Match #7
AJ Lee, Alicia Fox & Aksana vs Cameron & the Bella Twins (6-lady tag match)
I mean, the divas are attractive and all, but don’t we get this same damn match every week? Nikki Bella and AJ Lee start off the match and kick each other a bunch, with some taunting. Even the announcers really aren’t calling the match as they’re too busy discussing inflatable dinosaurs. Cameron drops a DDT on Aksana (the Eastern European chick that looks like she’d be good at dodgeball) and pins her for the win.

Fuck. Yes. Alexander Rusev promo. His lady’s good lookin. He’s awesome. The promo blows ass because there’s not much too it; I just like em. Afterwards, apparently the announcers got themselves a newly constructed table, I’m sure it’s been around but it’s the first time I’ve noticed.

Turns out Kane is here. The announcers are having some fun poking at each other. Kane then begins to apologize on the mic. The crowd begins a “What?” chant after each of his statements. And before you know it, Daniel Bryan enters. The crowd cheers and the two begin fighting. While they’re fighting Bryan puts Kane over the top rope and Cole says “and there goes the so called ‘big red corporate sellout’” which is something Punk coined a bit ago. Before you know it, Bryan drop kicks Kane’s ass over the security barrier and the crowd loves it and he exits to a Yes! chant.

Match #8
John Cena vs Randy Orton (Singles match)
Betty White introduces us to the evening’s main event. Cena enters to a mix of cheers and boos. He comes out yelling “this defines our future tonight.” Randy Orton comes down to a bunch of hushness, because nobody gives a shit about him or his awful entrance music. The newly adopted “Let’s go Cena - CM Punk!” chant kicks in, but not for long as the competitors Irish whip each other before Orton is out of the ring walking around “cooling off?”. Three minutes later Orton is doing the shit again. Do refs not count people out anymore? Orton’s back in as he’s leading the attack. Cena hobbles around, the two are outside of the ring for Orton to backdrop Cena onto the barrier. The crowd gives a few seconds of a CM Punk chant. They head back in the ring where Orton is “hammering” away on John Cena. The crowd is booing and chanting “bo-ring.” Cena rallies for the best exchange between the two of them so far. It’s over shortly, hey, the ref is counting out Cena! Orton attempts a pin after a big ol suplex to no avail. A quick Daniel Bryan chant breaks out as the two wrestlers stretch each other slowly. Another failed pin after a DDT from Orton. Again Cena rallies ending with a big slam and the Five Knuckle Shuffle. No go on the AA as Orton counters. Cena is winded, but tosses Orton over the ropes down to the floor. Another failed AA turns into a power slam from Orton. The two work their way to their feet again before Orton goes into a superplex off the corner. Cena prevents, Orton comes back and leaves Cena hanging from the turnbuckle. Orton drops the DDT on Cena from the top rope. Then he has a weird freakout screaming at the crowd incoherently. I tried catching it all, but all I got was “Same old what?! Same old what?!”. Orton then taunts the RKO, Cena bull rushes into the STF. Orton crawled to the ropes to break the hold. Both guys go down and the ref gets to a 5 count as Orton gets to his feet. Seriously the slowest match I’ve seen tonight. They mope and lay around a lot. And I’m not even a Cena hater. Orton misses the Punt, Cena goes for the AA, Orton gets out of it and drops the RKO. Cena kicks out after a hard two count. Cena springs up and lands the AA but Orton kicks out after two. Cena works Orton to the top turnbuckle where he begins to go for the AA from the top rope. Orton wiggles out of it, Cena jumps from the top and lands a monster leg drop. Then the AA, Then the pin; count it. Cena’s fans and Orton’s non fans cheer in unison.

Average to below average Raw. But as such this early on the Road to WrestleMania when all of the good competitors are written out of storylines. No official word on CM Punk still, Daniel Bryan didn’t have a match, we saw Cena vs Orton for the ten thousandth time, Batista is still average as fuck. The buildup for the Wyatts and The Shield was the definite highlight.