Opening

Cena cuts a promo about Rusev, and is interrupted by Rusev. Totally haven't seen this type of opening before, right? Cena said "I'm not gonna bore y'all with my resume" but he did it anyways.

They have a war of words and Cena runs down and attacks Rusev. To his credit, Cena is selling his anger really well. But he's doing really heelish stuff, doesn't make much sense. He's raking his shoe across Rusev's face, kicking him in the stomach when he's down. Eh, I dunno. Cena's fire is promising though.

Ambrose vs Harper
Ambrose has a backstage promo where he's a reporter, pretending to report news while calling out Bad News Barrett. Offers him a contract for an IC match at Fast Lane.

Cut to Ambrose vs Harper. Pretty standard match. All of your typical Ambrose-isms and Harper-isms show up. Ambrose bites Harper, and pulls out a Dirty Deeds looking DDT off the top rope, but Harper gets up like right way? Sort of odd but the match went on.

Harper fights Ambrose off a little bit more, but Ambrose ends up pulling a Dirty Deeds out and gets the win.

Backstage segment with Triple H, Kane, and Big Show

Kane and Big Show bitch at each other. Triple H chews them out for bitching at each other. They walk away like scolded puppies.

Bray Wyatt vignette thing

Yet another Bray Wyatt promo where he talks in a creepy voice and says creepy things. Honestly, do people still pay attention to these anymore? I love you Bray, but stop this repetitive shit.

Dust Bros backstage segment with Dusty Rhodes!

Dusty Rhodes comes in to a meeting between the Dust Bros, sets Stardust straight. Stardust agrees with Dusty, and appears to quit his bullshit.

The New Day vs Dust Bros

Cue commentary harping on New Day for being "positive" and "fun." Can't wait for these guys to turn heel and actually be interesting.

Match goes along smoothly, each side trades advantage. Cod-I mean Stardust, goes for a Beautiful Disaster but almost hits Goldust. Goldust gets pissed, Xavier hits Goldust kick to the head, New Day gets the win.

Stardust feigns helping Goldust up but then delivers a reverse-sto. Ooooohh nooo! How saaaaaaaaaaaad. Let's hope this leads to a payoff and not just a lame ending to their team.

Backstage segment with Roman Reigns

Byron Saxton interviews Roman Reigns about Wrestlemania and the Authority.

Roman actually doesn't make an ass out of himself on the mic this time. Decent work from him. He talks about how Danial Bryan is a chump because he didn't accept his Royal Rumble defeat. Says he'll still beat him and go on to defeat Lesnar.

Roman Reigns vs Kane with Danial Bryan at ringside.

Roman gets the upper hand during the beginning, but Bryan starts a big Yes! chant that causes Kane to take advantage.

The majority of the match is quite sloppy in truth, lots of slightly botched spots and sluggish movement.

When Roman gets the upper hand again, Bryan starts another Yes! chant. Of course it distracts him, and Kane attacks. This doesn't last long , as the action spills outside the ring. Kane goes for a chokeslam on the announce table but gets speared. Kane stays down for a 10 count, Reigns picks up a countout victory.

Bryan YES! chants the hell out of Reigns, Reigns looks annoyed.


Paige vs Summer Rae

In the segment before, Bella Twins steal Paige's gear, running out of the locker room like schoolgirls. Paige basically says fuck it and borrows gear from a Rosebud, wears the gear to her match.

Summer Rae tries insulting Paige's attire but being the badass she is, Paige ain't having none of that. Making pretty short work of her opponent, Paige wins with a PTO.

Bella Twins come out afterwards, Paige makes short work of them on the mic too. Good buildup for their match at Fast Lane.

Seth Rollins vs Dolph Ziggler

Seth cuts a great promo, symbolically flipping the past off, claiming his is the future/present and is the most valuable wrestler. He gets cut off by Ziggler, both of them have a fantastic time on the mic. Damnit if these guys aren't two of the most charismatic in the business right now.

They start the match fired up as hell, even moreso than Cena's opener promo. Not even 5 minutes in and J&J Security get thrown out by the ref.

Seth and Dolph show the fuck out in this match, seriously. Both of them show just how much they deserve to be in the spotlight. If we could get matches of this quality every week, I'd be ecstatic.

Seth and Dolph chain-reverse each other for a while until Ziggler hits a Zig Zag. Of course, during the pinfall, J&J return and interfere, causing a DQ. They all gang up on Ziggler until Ryback and Eric Rowan come down to make the save. Ziggler, Ryback, and Rowan are shaping up to be quite a team.

Triple H responds to Sting's response to Triple H's challenge in response to Sting's response to Triple H's response to Survivor Series

Welp. This is becoming confusing.

In the middle of Triple H's promo, Ric Flair shows up.

What? I mean...okay, cool, it's Ric Flair! But.....what?

Flair warns Triple H about Sting, says "don't let me catch you on your ass again."

Oh no no no. Triple H shoves the shit out of Flair, says he will destroy Sting. Good segment.

The Ascension vs Darren Young and a jobber

The Ascension attack Darren and the jobber, causing the match to not even start.

Surprise surprise, TITUS O NEIL IS BACK! Prime Time Players reunion? Rivalry for The Ascension with actual meaning? YES! Titus fights off The Ascension with Darren, and they celebrate together.