Have you ever known a free lancer
Thinks that he's a camper
Known around my way as the cramper
Like P.M.S. always poking
But he won't go away with a little Motrin
Now if you ever heard the term cramper and you wonder
The worms kind of like I guess a modern day Felix Unger
When you first meet them you think he's O.K
But then you learn a little bit of the cramper goes a long way
Hear say here I say through the grapevine
He squawks and he gawks and he walks a thin line
Just like a little fuckin fag
He always wants to get high but never has a bag
Never works says he can't find the right job
Hasn't got a dime and when he does he's a tightwad
He's the dampest there's no one damper
Huh huh.... he's the muther fuckin cramper

Now the crampers red, there's no one redder
He rides you wrong like a really tight sweater
He's sort of like a mouse a pest of a peer
You come home he's at your house drinking your last beer
Poking and stroking he makes you want to belt him
Always wearing out his mother fucking welcome
And then sporty's never that cautious
He sips from your forty and he always backwashes
Talk about a certain subject, he'll jinx it
Let him borrow a shirt, the stooge always shrinks it
He's the dampest, there's no one damper
Huh huh.... he's the mother fuckin cramper