[Verse]



Dum diti dum dang dang di dum



2 bums in an alley with a bottle of rum



1 bum said look Jack I'm the shit



Put his knees to his ears and sucked his own dick



My mothers crazy I think she sniffs glue



She never liked me and I know that's true


Kicked me out the crib because I got a tattoo



No one loves me and no one cares



And all I ever get is funny stares



I can't help it if I'm nothing but a wino



So I hang at the zoo chilling with the rhinos



Stealing bottles of booze out of A & P


I know a girl at Denny's and I always eat free

Got the same birth date as Thomas Crapper



For Christmas I bought the old man the Clapper

I'm so dapper u can call me Dan



But they call me round eye when I'm chilinf in Japan



Got a bad ass bitch adn she ain't no dike



But fuck that ho and let me tell ya what I like



I like bean burritos from Taco Bell


I like trippinf on acid with Dick Vitale



My hair isn't plastic and my clothes aren't clashing



I write my rhymes on a schooner in a 90's fashion



Took too many many trip and now I can's stop tripping



My mellow D. killed a rat in the kitchen



U think u toke tuff I'd disagree



Nobody blows more doobs than Richard D



I get ill on hoes who I know ain't fertile



I'm a real jet setter like Cecil turtle



I'm down with Bill Bands so Fuck Joe Glover



And while I'm at it mother fuck fat ass Sally Struthers



U look fine girl kinda undercover



But I can't fuck you because you look like my mother



I said dang digee dang di dang dang



It isn't Eric Estrada or Kool and The Gang



You know I hand in the Clem chilling on the strip



With all them mother fuckers who slang that shit



You know I'm a pimp hold my dick like a holster



You sing it "all the girls want a kid rock poster"


Life is a big joke and that's how it strikes me



But fuck it because I know "Somebody up there likes me."



Assholes are only assholes, for shore