Father drove a steamroller
Momma was a crossing guard
She got rolled when he got steamed
And I got left in charge
Living in a little town with my pedigree in shards
I chopped down a weeping willow tree
And built this party barge

Ports of call, dayglo bait
Why not see a legend while it's still being made?
Things get kind of squirrelly when you're sleeping in the park
Jam too far propagating in the night
My colleagues and associates have kicked out all the lights
Like I said, they say, nothing stops a party barge

"This is lake directory, calling party barge
I'm on the phone with pond control, they say you are at large
Lend us your coordinates, we'll send a Saint Bernard"
Think it's kind of squirrelly when you're sleeping in the park
Chicken-fried pigeon in a Sonny James sauce
Satan's jeweled lobster has your wife in its claws
Like I said, they say, nothing stops a party barge

"Send us your coordinates, I'll send a Saint Bernard
Send us your coordinates, I'll send a Saint Bernard
Send us your coordinates, I'll send a Saint Bernard
This is lake directory, calling party barge"