[Verse 1]
Turn on the TV, turn on the radio
Turn down that sound, turn down that sound
Open the curtains, open the windows
What's happening around? What's happening around?
I'll do some washing, I might go shopping
I'm going downtown, I'm going downtown

[Chorus]
Uh-oh, someone told me, "nothing happened today"
Someone told me, "nothing happened today"

[Verse 2]
I woke up late, I had a headache
I went back to sleep, go back to sleep
I stood there waiting, waiting for something
There wasn't a thing, not even one thing

[Chorus]
Someone told me, "nothing happened today"
Someone told me, "nothing happened today"

[Bridge]
Harry Hooper living in No. 10
Bought a toupee and glued it to his head
"It looks very natural," everybody said
But then his wife said "Toupee, isn't that a French word?"
And Harry said, "Ole." She said, "That's a Spanish word."
And he said "Okay, can't tell the difference these days."
[Keyboard Solo]

[Verse 3]
I watched TV 'cause I wanted to see
The late news at 10, it came on and then
She shuffled her papers, she swiveled in her chair
She looked up and said
"The weather was fair, and then it turned cold
It started to rain, pouring with rain
Tomorrow's Wednesday, today was Tuesday
And this is the date, March 28th
Some people died, some people were born
And some stayed the same, and some went insane
It was the morning, then afternoon
And then the night came, and then the night came

[Chorus]
Someone told me, "Nothing happened today"
Uh-oh, someone told me, "Nothing happened today"
Someone told me, "Nothing happened today"
Someone told me, "Nothing happened"
Someone told me, "Nothing happened today"
Someone told me, "Nothing happened"
It happened today