Late last night, she called me on the telephone
Late last night, I was watching telly on my own
She said, "We need to talk"
So I put her on the speaker-phone and let her squawk

Sat back and watched Man U
2-1 at home
I said, "I love you so"
Just then Man City scored another goal
I thought football's just like love
But she said, "No!"

She said we needed to talk of our relationship
She said she wasn't happy and I was too insensitive
She said "Where'd you think we're going?"
I said, "Search me, honeybun, how would I know?
But do you want a biryani to go?"
She said, "No!"
She said, "You're messed up in the head"
I said, "The answer to our problem lies between my legs"
I don't think she got that joke when she screamed
"No!"

Well, I'm her long tall daddy and she's my gonest girl
We're the coolest cats but we're occupying different worlds
It's as incompatible as that
It's like she's Officer Dibble and I'm Top Cat
But I guess that's how we roll when she says
"No!"
She says, "You're such a selfish pig"
I say, "Fair enough, baby", trying to be sensitive
You should watch that volcano blow
When she says, "No!"

Argh, you fuckin'
Prick!
No!