Steven Lutvak
The Last One You’d Expect
[LORD ASQUITH, SR.]
Look at him
No denying his humble start
But it fills up this poor old heart
When I see how well he's done

Look at him
All the loyalty he has shown
How my fondness for him has grown
'Til he's almost like a son

Some might have thought him unsuitable
How quickly he's earned my respect
Who would think that the D'Ysquith we cast aside
Could become such a source of pride
He's the last one you'd expect

[SIBELLA]
Who'd believe that Monty Navarro ever would come so far, so fast?
Never seen a man so keen to overcome his past

Now he can live in princely fashion, as the D'Ysquith name requires
He can pursue with all his passion everything he desires

I must go
[MONTY]
Will I see you again?

[SIBELLA]
Well of course!
Some might have thought him unsuitable
They were, of course, incorrect

I always believed in Monty Navarro, even though in retrospect
Who would have guessed whose bell I'd ring this very afternoon?

Tomorrow?

[MONTY]
Tomorrow

[SIBELLA]
Only just unpacked from my protracted honeymoon
He's the last one you'd expect

[WOMAN, spoken]
Miss D'Ysquith, pardon me, Mr. Navarro is here to see you

[PHOEBE]
Look at me
So completely in disarray
Barely able to face the day
Shall I say I'm indisposed?
Look at me
I'm so terribly gray and grim
Yet I'm cheered by the thought of him
Rather more than I'd supposed

Some might have thought him unsuitable
But what cause had they to object?
Who but he
Stood beside me to comfort me
Out of all of the family
He's the last one you'd expect[LORD ASQUITH, SR.]
Look at him
No denying his humble start
But it fills up this poor old heart
When I see how well he's done[SIBELLA]
Look at him now
Who would have guessed?

I am impressed how he's progressed

A wife who meets her obligation is allowed to have her fun[PHOEBE]
Look at him
All the loyalty he has shown
How my fondness for him has grown[LORD ASQUITH, SR.]
Look at him
Look what he's shown
How my fondness has grown
'til he's almost like a son[LORD ASQUITH, SR. / SIBELLA / PHOEBE]
Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh
Some might have thought him unsuitable
But if they took a pause to reflect
They would seize
On his matchless ability
He's the best of the breed, oh he's
The last one you'd expect

[MONTY]
Only two people left alive who stand between the Earldom and me
Only two who survive who are still above me, on the D'Ysquith family tree

Is the next one my employer, Asquith D'Ysquith?
But he has treated me so well
How ungrateful to remove him after all his kindness, oh, what hell

But remember, he was hateful, Asquith D'Ysquith, was the cause of mother's grief
He denied her
Vilified her
Took away her birthright like a thief

On the other hand
Has he not been rather decent
Making me successor
Must admit I hate to do it
I've grown rather fond of him
And—

[MAN, spoken]
Pardon me, Mr. Navarro, it is my sad duty to report that Asquith D'Ysquith has gone to his great reward

[MONTY, spoken]
Oh no, what's happened?

[MAN, spoken]
Heart attack. At least he did not suffer, sir

[MONTY]
Only one person left still alive who stands between the Earldom and me

[ENSEMBLE]
Only one, only one, only one, who stands between the Earldom and he

Only one, only one, only one

[MONTY]
Only one above me on the tree

[ENSEMBLE / SIBELLA / PHOEBE]
Look at him (Look at him, look at him)
Thanks to him I have been renewed
By his virtue and fortitude
He's the last one you'd expect

[LORD ASQUITH, SR., spoken]
After the tragic demise of Lady Salome, the sudden death of Lord Asquith D'Ysquith brings to seven the number of heirs to the D'Ysquith fortune who have died since last year

[SIBELLA]
Hmm? How very lucky for Monty Navarro

[WOMAN]
How astounding

[MISS SHINGLE]
How peculiar

[ENSEMBLE]
It's astounding and peculiar
Yes, how utterly peculiar

Monty Navarro, how have you come so very far?
Monty Navarro, earnest and circumspect
Monty Navarro, no one knows who you really are
Who would ever suspect

Monty Navarro, Monty Navarro, Monty Navarro
Monty D'Ysquith Navarro

[MONTY]
I am the next Earl of Highhurst
And the last one you'd expect