Seon
It Could Always Be Worst
[Verse 1: Seon]
Depression hittin'
It's getting worst and I can't seem to listen
To the voice inside my head that tell me I can make a difference
'Cause I'm stuck inside the one that tell me I should not be livin'
Well, it's hard to see the beauty when I'm caught in tunnel vision
Do I like to feel this way? It's like I'm searching for the pain
'Cause I know if I wanted change, that it would have to start today
But I'm lazy and I'd rather waste my time inside my bed
I'm contemplating over words that just wish I nevеr said
And all the texts that I would send that I wish you nеver read
'Cause I'd be lying if I told you that I wish I wasn't dead
All I got's a little hope that one day I won't be alone
And that the pain will fade and go, but how am I supposed to know?
'Cause there's nothing in a life that is a promise
I really hope if I would grab the rope, that somebody would stop it

[Chorus: Lil Xtra]
Heads in the clouds, sun in my eyes
I'm done looking back, it's a waste of my time
I wanna feel home, everything is alright
I'll be feeling this soul for the rest of my life
I wanna go back to when I was young
Finding shame for the things that I've done
Heart on my sleeve, hittin' the woods
Got to hold on, it could always be worse
[Verse 2: Lil Xtra]
I left a message on your phone, I really hope that you reply
I know for you it's not important, but for me it's do or die
I wonder why I'm in this place
Why you tell me to my face that I'm the cause of all your problems and I'm taking up your space?
Or how the air that you breathe is not created for me?
I've got some problems, now you watchin' while I ruin everything
I've got a question, how I never seem to learn my lesson
How I never grasp the point, only grab the Smith & Wesson
Yeah, I keep a thousand yard stare and it's apparent
That my family name perished, I'm a f**king embarra**ment
When a single good day is an event, it's like a miracle
I'm getting off Cymbalta, now I'm starting on the seroquel
But honestly, I need a little space to breathe
A way to clear my mind and learn to live with my deficiencies
A shame I turn to substances to cope
I know it's rough to see
A life devoid of purpose filled with pain is not enough for me

[Chorus: Lil Xtra]
Heads in the clouds, sun in my eyes
I'm done looking back, it's a waste of my time
I wanna feel home, everything is alright
I'll be feeling this soul for the rest of my life
I wanna go back to when I was young
Finding shame for the things that I've done
Heart on my sleeve, hittin' the woods
Got to hold on, it could always be worse
[Verse 3: Seon]
I'll be stuck with my mistakes, I wear my heart up on my sleeve
So everybody could just see where I've been cut and left to bleed
All the scars and open wounds that I've been trying hard to heal
Like all the memories of us that I just wish someone would steal
My insecurities are bound to get the best of me
But maybe when I will be dead then I will finally rest in peace
'Cause lately I can't seem to ever find a way to fall asleep
The nightmare's running through my head but I don't think I ever dream
Afraid of who I was and knowing that he's never far behind
Creep into my mind and tell me I will never be alright
There's no way I could find anyone to ever fill me up inside
I'm broke, I'm losing hope, and you don't see my life for living lives
Smiles on my face and all the words that I would say to make them finally go away
I even said I'm doing great, I know you know it isn't true
You see what I've been going through
It isn't ever shocking news when I would play this song for you

[Chorus: Lil Xtra]
Heads in the clouds, sun in my eyes
I'm done looking back, it's a waste of my time
I wanna feel home, everything is alright
I'll be feeling this soul for the rest of my life
I wanna go back to when I was young
Finding shame for the things that I've done
Heart on my sleeve, hittin' the woods
Got to hold on, it could always be worse
Yeah