[GEORGE SALAZAR]
Apocalypse of the Damned!

[JOE ICONIS]
Level Nine!

[BOTH]
The Cafetorium!

Find the bad guy, push him aside
Then move on forward with your friend at your side
It's a two-player game, so when they make an attack
You know you got a brother, gonna have your back
Then you stay on track and--
Ah! Remain on course
And if they give you a smack, you--
Gah! You use your force!
And if you leave your brother behind, it's lame
'Cause it's an effed-up world
But it's a two-player game!
Hey!

[GEORGE SALAZAR]
Dude, you are cooler than a vintage cassette
It's just that no one else but me thinks that yet
You're just a nothing in this high school scheme
But it's no big, 'cause you and I are a team
We like out-of-print games
Retro skates
Got a Pac-Man tattoo
Nobody here appreciates
But soon we'll be together where they do

'Cause guys like us are cool in college
Cool in college, this I know
Guys like us are cool in college
We rule in college, listen bro
High school is hell, but we navigate it well
It's what we do, we make it a two-player game

[BOTH]
Zombie!
Watch out!
Ah!
Wah!
Ugh

[JOE ICONIS]
As losers, we have fought together for years
Both Nintendo zombies and our popular peers
Now we're stuck on a level, and I wanna move on

[GEORGE SALAZAR]
Just wait two years whereupon
You'll realize
Guys like us are
[BOTH]
Cool in college
Cool in college, won't be lame

[JOE ICONIS]
Dude, I know, I get it

[BOTH]
Guys like us are cool in college

[JOE ICONIS]
But we're not in college

[GEORGE SALAZAR]
All the same
High school is whack, but we have each other's back
It's what we do

[BOTH]
We make it a two-player game

Gah!
Oh!
Zombie!

[BOTH]
Blood!
[BOTH]
Claws!

[BOTH]
Pause

[JOE ICONIS]
You know that you are my favorite person
That doesn't mean that I can't still dream

[GEORGE SALAZAR]
Is it really true?
I'm your favowite person?

[JOE ICONIS]
Yeah, we're never not gonna be a team
High school is shit, and you gotta help me conquer it
It's just what we do

[BOTH]
We make it a two-player game!

Find the bad guy push him aside!
Then move on forward with your friend at your side!
It's a two-player game, so when they make an attack
You know you got a brother, gonna have your back
Then you stay on track and--
Ah! Remain on course
And if they give you a smack, you--
Gah! You use your force!
And if you leave your brother behind, it's lame
'Cause it's an effed-up world
But it's a two-player game!
Hey!

Two-player game
Two-player game
He-e-ey!