Joe Iconis
Three Failed Escape Attempts of Sheila Nail
[DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, YA-YA, spoken]
Tell her about it, Sheila!

[SHEILA]
The first time I tried it it was late at night
I tied some bed sheets together tied ’em up real tight

Tied one end to a drainpipe
Threw the other out the window
Oh oh oh oh

Looked past the edge forty feet below
I threw my leg over, thought “here I go”

And started climbing down the side of the building
Side of the building
Climbing right down

[DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, YA-YA]
Right down

[SHEILA]
Got looks from the squirrels in the trees and
Feelin’ the breeze across my night gown

[DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, YA-YA]
Night gown
[SHEILA]
And I was a few feet from freedom
I was just a few feet from freedom
Then I heard a “stop right there, put your hands in the air”
And I knew that my plan was a fail

Well gettin’ caught is the worst
And that was only the first
Of the three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail

[SHEILA, DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, YA-YA]
Three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail
Three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail

[SHEILA (DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, YA-YA)]
Second time I tried it was another day
(Hey)
There were bed sheets involved but in a different way
(Hey)

I hid inside the laundry bin
You would not believe the things I saw
Sha na na naw

Waited for hours, thought I was gonna get stuck
Then an orderly starts pushing me a-toward his truck
Which meant that we was headed out of the building
Out of the building
Heading right out

[DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, YA-YA]
RIght out

[SHEILA]
I was covered in clothes, through a hole in some hose
I saw a light sprout

[DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, YA-YA]
Saw a little light sprout

[SHEILA]
Knew I was a

[DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, SHEILA, YA-YA]
Few feet from freedom

[SHEILA]
Really just a

[DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, SHEILA, YA-YA]
Few feet from freedom
[SHEILA]
Then I heard the orderly shout
“Look, a foot’s stickin’ out!”
And he lifted off my veil

Oh yea the warden was beckoned
And so goes the second
Of the three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail

Then after that I said forget the clever plan
I saw an opportunity and I just ran
Got as far as the highway, stuck out my thumb
A car slowed up and here the warden come

She called me a filthy malcontent
And, yeah

[DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, SHEILA, YA-YA]
That was exactly how the third time went

[RAT, spoken]
And when they brought her back, she pulled a drainpipe down!

[DOROTHY, spoken]
Flooded the whole floor

[KITTY, spoken]
Screw you, Miss Asp!

[YA-YA, spoken]
So badass!

[SUSANNAH, spoken]
It's quite a story. Unbelievable, in fact

[SHEILA]
But that ain't really how it happened, it’s just what I say
Cuz I did get in the car and as it drove away

I thought of where I came from
I thought of where I’d go
Where'm I gonna sleep tonight?
I don’t know

I ain’t got no family, got no coin in my purse
Yeah life was bad at school
Life before it was worse

And I ain’t been a civilian since ‘53
And I’m sure the world has changed
Substantially

And Nation is scary
And so so unfair
But at least I have a purpose, I’m respected there

Hey driver, hey, driver, hey, I’m not of age
You best take me back, back, back, back to my cage

And back to Nation I went
Oh so embarrassingly
Of my own consent

Last time I tried it was a different affair
I tied some bed sheets together and I stood on a chair

Tied one end to a drain pipe and the other ‘round my neck
Aw heck

And without any prep
I took a step

And I could feel the air leave my body, air leave my body
It got real tight

I never cop to this type of shit, but I have to admit it didn’t feel right

I was just a few breaths from freedom
But it didn’t feel much like freedom

And then the drain pipe broke
And I let out a croak

And the water rained down on me

I don’t believe in signs, but I can read between the lines

So I guess this is where I’m supposed to be
(Hey hey)

[SHEILA]
And with the rain pouring down, inside of the building, pouring right down

[DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, YA-YA]
Right down

[SHEILA]
I lit a hidden cigarette as I stood soaking wet
In my

[DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, SHEILA, YA-YA]
Nightgown
Nightgown

[SHEILA]
Bars and cages defined my freedom
But now I make my own kind of freedom

Running away is a bore
So I don’t do that no more
I see a battle I fight
I’m my own shining white knight

I may be fucked in my head
But, hey, at least I ain’t dead
And babe, I’m gonna gonna gonna prevail

By now you oughta derived
That cuz I fought I survived
And the three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail

[DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, YA-YA]
Three failed escape attempts of Shelia Nail
Three failed escape attempts of Shelia Nail

[SHELIA (DOROTHY, KITTY, RAT, YA-YA)]
Freedom (freedom)
I lived to tell the tale
Of the three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail (three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail)