[LAUREN]
Here in my railroad apartment
Tonight I'm just taking it slow
I threw out my tickets to the opera
’Cause nobody wanted to go

I thought I'd just sit here contently
Maybe a crossword or four
But I find myself not feeling satisfied
No, I find myself wanting much more

So instead of feeling blue
I know just what I'll do

I’m gonna put a party hat
On my cat
We'll dance around and play pretend

I'm gonna wear a golden dress
Make such a mess
And never let the good times end

Neighbors can peak through their winders
Looking all kinds of confused
But me and my feline won't care at all
'Cause we aren't easily bruised
No! We'll be laughing and doing the Lindy
And I'll be the belle of all things
And we’ll make a racket with no regard
So we won’t hear the phone even if it rings

I'm gonna put a party hat
On my cat
We’ll dance around and play pretend

I'm gonna wear a golden dress
Make such a mess
And never let the good times end

Yeah! I'm gonna squirt a French perfume
Around the room
And revel in the lovely mist

I'm gonna put a party hat
On my cat
And thank my lucky stars that he exists

[ERIC]
I just finished eating some Friskies
She comes at me holding this hat
I’m all like "lady, you back the hell up
I don't want no part of that"
Then I take a look into her big eyes
They're sad and a little bit red
And I think of the times when she's fed me food
And I think of the times when she's pet my paws
And I think of the times when she's seen my claws

I sigh and jump up on the bed
And dutifully lower my head

[LAUREN]
Look, I put a party hat
On my cat
We'll dance around and play pretend

I'm gonna wear a golden dress
Make such a mess
And never let the good times end

[LAUREN & ERIC]
I'm gonna squirt a French perfume
Around the room
And revel in the lovely mist

I'm gonna put a party hat
On my cat / me
[LAUREN]
And thank my lucky stars that he exists

[LAUREN & ERIC]
I'm gonna put a party hat
On my cat
We'll dance around and play pretend

I'm gonna wear a golden dress
Make such a mess
And never let the good times end

Yeah! I'm gonna squirt a French perfume
Around the room
And revel in the lovely mist

I'm gonna put a party hat
On my cat

[LAUREN]
And thank my lucky stars that he exists

[ERIC]
You better thank your lucky stars that I exist

[BOTH]
We're gonna thank our lucky stars that we exist