Boy, I know you're strong
I know you're fine
I know you don't need me
To help you see a sign

I just get scared
Act like a jerk
Obsess about the route that you take home from work
About the streets you pass when you walk home from work

I clear my mind
I down a scotch
Goddammit, nothing's going to hurt you
Not on my watch

'Cuz I'm gonna protect you
From all of the familiar temptations
I'm gonna protect you
From scoundrels and snakes

I'm gonna protect you
From all of the quick medications
I'm gonna protect you
From former mistakes

I'm gonna protect you
I swear
I'm gonna protect you
I'll be there
To protect you from all of the bad things that happen in Florida
In Florida, oh
In Florida
In Florida, oh

Now please don't shout
I know you know what's best
I understand now I've been branded just a hypocritic pest

And you've ever right
To just shut down
But no it's not that I don't trust you it's just I don't trust this town

Hey, I'm gonna protect you
From all of the ranters and ravers
I'm gonna protect you
Your body and mind

I'm gonna protect you
From all of the ten dollar favors
I'm gonna protect you
So you don't go blind

I'm gonna protect you
I swear
I'm gonna protect you
I'll be there
To protect you from all of the bad that happen in Florida
In Florida, oh
In Florida
In Florida, oh

Yeah I really didn't wanna argue today
And if you really listened to the things that I say
You'd hear they come from a good place

I'm older than you, I've been under the bus
I've seen what can happen to people like us
It's enough to make ya sick

Goddamn, scotch goes quick

Guess it got late
Way past two
I know it's silly that I worry, but I do

It's just my way
And honestly
I wish I had someone who said this shit to me

Said "I'm gonna protect you
From all of the scary surprises
I'm gonna direct you
Around all the traps
I'm gonna object to
Each one of your dumb compromises
I'm gonna affect you
By pointing on maps"

And you're gonna never despair
'Cuz I'm gonna always be there
To protect you
To protect you
Boy, to protect you
From all of the bad things that happen in Florida
In Florida, oh
In Florida
In Florida, oh

Only in Florida
In Florida, oh
In Florida
In Florida, oh

In everywhere
In everywhere
In everywhere
In everywhere

In everywhere
In everywhere
In everywhere
In everywhere

On distant shores
Near snowy fields of white
In record stores
In suburbs bathed in white

In rows with doors
In kitchens late at night
In dresser drawers
In Florida