[MARVIN, WHIZZER, JASON & MENDEL]
March, march
March of the Falsettos
March of the Falsettos
Whee!
Who is
Man enough to march to
March of the Falsettos?

[WHIZZER]
C'mere!

[MARVIN, WHIZZER, JASON & MENDEL]
One foot
Following the other
Teach it to your brother
Make him march
March
March of the Falsettos
March of the Falsettos

Oops!

March a little bit
March a little bit
March a little bit on
Four men, swaying in
Phosphorescence
Keep replaying their
Adolescence

Four men marching but never mincing
Four men marching is so convincing
It's a goddamn surety
We're lacking in maturity!

[Marvin, Whizzer, Mendel, and Jason all childishly laugh and bicker with one another.]

[MARVIN]
March

[MENDEL]
March

[JASON]
March

[WHIZZER]
March

[MENDEL]
Marvin's always wary
[MARVIN]
March

[MENDEL]
March

[JASON]
March

[WHIZZER]
March

[JASON]
Does this mean that I'm a fairy?

[MARVIN]
March

[MENDEL]
March

[JASON]
March

[WHIZZER]
March
[MENDEL]
What a stupid theory!

[MARVIN]
March

[MENDEL]
March

[JASON]
March

[WHIZZER]
March
Whizzer says it doesn't, dearie
Don't be scared
Don't get tight
Ass is bared
My delight
Shared

[JASON]
With

[MARVIN]
Four

[WHIZZER]
Young

[MENDEL]
Men

[MARVIN, WHIZZER, JASON & MENDEL]
Alone in the night!
March, march
March of the Falsettos
March of the Falsettos

Who is
Man enough to march to
March of the Falsettos?
Hi

One foot
Following the other!
Practice it on one another
March, march
March of the Falsettos (March of the Falsettos)
March of the Falsettos (March of the Falsettos)
Marching home!

Uh-oh!