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Human Petting Zoo
Part 1: Samuel Brady, the Legend
Captain Brady was a man, not a hero, not a villain, but a man, born in 1756, died when he was 39, known as Captain Samuel Brady, his father was a captain too, his mother's name was Mary, and they had 13 babies. He did a lot of shitty things, he fought a bunch of battles, he probably got sunburned and he hung out with the founding fathers. He killed a bunch of babies, and he killed a bunch of men and women and spied on his enemies, who all hated the hell out of him. I'm probably always 100 feet from where his treasure might be, I'll never, ever find it, there's no X that marks the spot, I'll run all day and never stop, his treasures out there somewhere, but it's not even for certain that it's really there