[Verse 1]
I heard a tree
It was talking to me
It said "You are an asshole."

A honeybee
Went buzzing by me
It said "You're such an asshole."

[Chorus 1]
I've experienced such strange phenomena
Since I left my sweet Marie
I left her to see the world
Now the whole world is mad at me!

[Verse 2]
I caught a fish
That fish was pissed
"I been caught by an asshole!"

I threw it back and a seagull crapped
"For you are an asshole!"

[Chorus 2]
I've experienced such weird phenomena
Since I left you my Marie
I walked away from your sweet sweet love
Now the whole world is through with me
[Guitar Solo]

[Chorus 3]
I've experienced such odd phenomena
Since you left me my Marie
The whole world can call me what it wants
If you just come back to me

[Outro]
My Marie!
I need you sweet Marie
(You're still an asshole)

Please Marie! I love you sweet Marie
(You're still an asshole)

I'm on my knees, my Marie
(You're still an asshole)

I'll be whatever you want me to be, my Marie