[ARTHUR]
My name is Arthur, Arthur McArthur
It's spelled like Varthur but without the V
That little difference makes all the difference
When there's a twin stealing your identity
Happened all my life, so I thought tonight I would rewrite history
Which is why I created this mystery

A killer party, oh
A killer party, whoa
It was Arthur, not Varthur, who wrote all your shows
You don't even know how deep this sibling rivalry goes

Well, he kept at it
Until I'd had it
I snapped and shot at him in point-blank range
Except I missed him
And went to prison
Wherе I've written plays to deal with my deep-sеated rage
What I didn't know is my clever bro
On another power trip would steal and take credit
For every manuscript

He was a phony, oh ho ho
I want my Tony, whoa
I've been locked in the basement since I got parole
So I wrote this play as a way of regaining control
I had planned to cut the power while you all were eating dinner
Forcing Varthur to come down so I could kill him in the basement
I would put on all his clothing then come up and join the party
And you'd never know that I was his identical replacement
What I didn't know, of course, is that his guests would try to kill him
And that Clarke instead of Varthur would be coming down the stairwell
I let Clarke pass in the dark and grabbed a ladle from the kitchen
And I clonked my brother with it as a very final farewell

I knew Clarke would find the fuse box so I hid inside the closet
And decided I'd switch bodies as soon as I was able
While you two were checking out the soup I tried but couldn't swap it
But while the rest took a steamboat, I took his place at the table
At my killer party, oh
A killer party, whoa

I put clues in the story
I layered them in
Take the 'e' from the word 'twine' you get 'twin'
Throw the stamp and fuse box
The kid who talks like Gavroche
The plagiarizing bombshell
The steward doing ASL
Almost got off scot-free
Can't believe she caught me
I was made in the shade
If it wasn't for that meter maid