[GORDY]
Cob County friends, your dark days are at an end!
I know that you've been prayin' for a ear that you can bend
Well it took a little science, a little math, a little myth
But I formed a little formula
Now feast your eyes on this!

[ENSEMBLE]
Aah, aah, aah, aah
Aah, aah, aah

[GORDY, spoken]
A newly-grown, perfect ear of corn!

[ENSEMBLE]
It's really corn!

[GORDY, spoken]
Yep!

[ENSEMBLE]
It's been resurrected and reborn

[GORDY, spoken]
Hallelujah!
(singing)
In a field full of failure, it's a yellow unicorn

[ENSEMBLE]
Mazie brought a savior for our corn!

[BEAU, spoken]
What happened?

[ENSEMBLE]
Gordy fixed the corn!

[BEAU]
What?!

[ENSEMBLE]
Gordy fixed the corn!

[BEAU]
No!

[GORDY]
I've analyzed, hypothesized
And agonized and realized
The reason why your corn is dyin!
It's because of those rocks!
[ENSEMBLE]
Rocks? What about the corn?!

[GORDY]
Got a corn problem? I'm your man
Need a green thumb? I'm a whole green hand

[ENSEMBLE]
What's your plan?

[GORDY]
The corn's in trouble, so let's troubleshoot
Like any other problem, the problem's at the root
And the roots ain't rootin' cause the soil ain't soakin'
And the soil ain't soakin' cause the rocks are suckin'
All the water from the soil, all the water from the stalks
Wanna fix your corn? Gotta start with the rocks!

[ENSEMBLE]
What's he sayin'?

[GORDY]
The rocks gotta go!
Move those rocks and your corn will grow

[ENSEMBLE]
Oh, move those rocks and the corn will grow
Woah!
[STORYTELLER 1]
Well holy shit!

[STORYTELLER 2]
Holy shit!

[STORYTELLER 1]
That's a lot!

[STORYTELLER 2]
Who'da thought?

[STORYTELLERS]
All we gotta do is

[COMPANY]
Move those rocks!

[STORYTELLER 1]
And it was like

[STORYTELLER 2]
And it was like

[STORYTELLER 1]
Cornography!

[STORYTELLER 2]
Corn-lottery!

[STORYTELLER 1]
Mazie walked into a shucking victory!

[STORYTELLER 2]
Beau said...

[BEAU]
You gotta be shucking kiddin' me!

[STORYTELLER]
Lulu, Peanut, Mazie too
Did that thing they always do

[STORYTELLER 2, spoken]
What?

[STORYTELLERS, spoken]
Sing!

[MAZIE]
Everything you thought you knew about me

[LULU]
Just because you caught a bus to Tampa

[MAZIE]
Just like that, I turned it on its ear

[BEAU]
He will never fit into our world

[MAZIE]
And that corn wouldn't stand a chance without me

[LULU]
Don't do it girl

[MAZIE]
All you do is doubt me

[LULU & PEANUT]
Ever since you

[MAZIE]
Since I

[MAZIE, LULU, BEAU & PEANUT]
Came back here!

[STORYTELLER 1]
And Gordy said

[GORDY]
The corn will grow

[STORYTELLER 2]
And Mazie said

[MAZIE]
I told you so!

[STORYTELLERS]
And the whole town turned and looked at Beau

[BEAU]
You believe all this?!

[ENSEMBLE]
Well yes we do!

[PEANUT]
You really do?!

[MAZIE]
And I do too!

[ENSEMBLE, spoken]
Yessss!

[STORYTELLERS]
Beau was jealous, Beau was mad
Stubborn pride was all he had
Lulu, Peanut

[COMPANY]
The whole town too

[STORYTELLERS]
Did that thing they always do!

[COMPANY]
Sing!

[STORYTELLERS]
The place went nuts!

[MAZIE & (ENSEMBLE)]
Oh I'm a woman now! (Corn!)

[STORYTELLER 1]
Shucking nuts!

[MAZIE & (ENSEMBLE)]
A woman of the world! (We've got corn!)

[STORYTELLERS]
They lost their minds!

[BEAU & (ENSEMBLE)]
He ain't even Cob County boy! (Glory!)

[MAZIE & (ENSEMBLE)]
I'm not just some country girl (He saved our...)

[GORDY]
I've fixed the corn!

[MAZIE & (STORYTELLER 2)]
I've seen the skyline and an ocean full of pearl (It was all confused!)

[GORDY]
I've fixed the corn!

[PEANUT]
Did you hear that, corn?

[ENSEMBLE]
Say what you will

[MAZIE]
I'm a woman of the world

[ENSEMBLE]
He fixed the corn!

[GORDY]
Sure did!

[STORYTELLER 1]
Then Gordy got down on a knee in the dirt

[STORYTELLER 2]
Found a little rock just to show 'em how it worked

[STORYTELLER 1]
Beau told Mazie

[BEAU]
You are outta your mind

[STORYTELLER 2]
And she was on her own this time

[PEANUT, spoken]
Well, I think...

[STORYTELLER 1]
When Mazie told Beau

[MAZIE]
You can jump off a dock

[STORYTELLER 2]
Just about the time...

[GORDY]
I loosened up the rock!

[STORYTELLER 1]
And this is where

[LULU]
Mazie

[STORYTELLER 1]
Kinda lost the plot

[STORYTELLER 2]
But it ain't so crazy to

[COMPANY]
Think of what she thought

[MAZIE, spoken]
Why yes, Gordy Jackson, I will marry you!

[GORDY]
What?!

[LULU]
What?!

[PEANUT]
What?!

[BEAU]
What?!

[ENSEMBLE]
What what what what what?!

[COMPANY]
Holy shit!

[STORYTELLERS]
What about that shit?