[STORYTELLER 1, spoken]
Now, this is where our little fable takes an exciting turn

[STORYTELLER 2, spoken]
We'll speed you through the highlights
We begin around eight PM
Go!

[BEAU, spoken]
A toast to the groom on the eve of his weddin' from his best man

[ENSEMBLE, spoken]
A toast!

[GORDY, spoken]
I'd like that!

[BEAU, spoken]
Maybe we should start you off with a child's portion

[GORDY, spoken]
My friend, where I come from, we have spirits
Named specifically for the tough urbanite
Who navigates a daily concrete battleground
Perhaps you've heard of something called a cosmopolitan
[BEAU, spoken]
Ooh, well then, we have underestimated you once again!

[GORDY, spoken]
Wow, that is so strong it could raise five kids on a teacher's salary
What's in this?

[BEAU, spoken]
Well...

[TENORS & BASSES]
Corn
We're talkin' corn
Just as sure as the day that you were born
In the east--

[STORYTELLER 1, spoken]
Stop! Then, eight o' five, go!

[GORDY, spoken]
I think this might be my last one for the night, fellas

[STORYTELLER 2, spoken]
Stop! Around eight o' eight, go!

[TENORS & BASSES, spoken]
Gordy! Gordy! Gordy! Gordy! Gor--
[STORYTELLER 1, spoken]
Stop! Around eight-fifteen, go!

[BEAU, spoken]
Tell us about where you're from

[GORDY]
Tampa
If you can't afford Orlando or Atlanta
Medicare, Metamucil and Mylanta
Will always feel like home to me in Tam--

[STORYTELLER 1, spoken]
Stop! By eight thirty, go!

[GORDY, TENORS & BASSES]
Woah, woah

[BEAU, spoken]
Yeah Gordy! Hey, this is my song, I love it!

(singing) Somebody will!

[GORDY, TENORS & BASSES]
Woah
[STORYTELLER 2, spoken]
Stop! Eight thirty-two, go!

[BEAU, spoken]
Really big!

[STORYTELLER 1, spoken]
Stop! Mm-mmm, mm-mmm. Eight-forty, go!

[GORDY, spoken]
My fam'ly doesn't believe in me
Growin' up, my parents moved around a lot
Sure, I always found 'em, but it was hard
I never had any friends, not what I call real friends

[BEAU, spoken]
Well, you do now

[GORDY, spoken]
I do now?

[BEAU, spoken]
Yeah!

[BEAU, GORDY, TENORS & BASSES]
Friends, my old friends
*Unintelligible drunk singing*
Something... together!

[STORYTELLER 1, spoken]
Stop! Then, around eight forty-five, Mazie, Lulu and her liquor all landed, go!

[MAZIE, LULU, SOPRANOS & ALTOS]
Here come the women and the woman of the world

[STORYTELLER 2, spoken]
Stop! And suddenly, the plot, like the whiskey, thickened, go!

[GORDY]
Hey, I'm not okay