[Verse 1]
I laughed when your dog died
It is cruel, but it's true
Take me back, kiss my soft side
Does he love me most now that his dog is toast? Ooh

[Pre-Chorus 1]
I'm with stupid, find me with this guy
Colossal and he's caught in my hair-tie
Best is when he stays with me all night, all mine
Big fight, soft side

[Verse 2]
Blacked out with the beefcakes
Siphon drool, just be cool
Lost the bet, won the sweepstakes
Does he love me most? Maybe I don't come close, ooh

[Pre-Chorus 2]
I've been celebrating since Thursday
I always get dumped on my birthday
I'm the one who said in the first place
Foreplay, okay, anyways
Woo!

[Chorus]
I'm four years above sixteen
I bounced so high, I peed the trampoline
I'm too sad to be mean
I'm gonna end up working at Dairy Queen
[Verse 3]
Gone south at the Safeway
Bark me through it—baby, prove it!
I'm a mess, I mean, in the best case
Does he love me most? Maybe I don't come close, ooh

[Break]

[Chorus]
I'm four years above sixteen
I bounced so high, I peed the trampoline
I'm too sad to be mean
I'm gonna end up working at Dairy Queen

[Breakdown]
I'm four years above sixteen
I bounced so high, I peed the trampoline

[Chorus]
I'm four years above sixteen
(I'm with stupid, find me with this guy)
I bounced so high, I peed the trampoline
(Colossal and he's caught in my hair-tie)
I'm too sad to be mean
(Best is when he stays with me all night)
I'm gonna end up working at Dairy Queen
I'm four years above sixteen
(I've been celebrating since Thursday)
I bounced so high, I peed the trampoline
(I always get dumped on my birthday)
I'm too sad to be mean
(I'm the one who said in the first place)
I'm gonna end up working at Dairy Queen!
[Solo]