[Verse 1]
Shopping spree for the family tree
Haven't seen your family tree in quite a while!
Too many sandwiches and wine
Sherry stains down your best mans tie
What a speech
The band arrives, the granny's cry
Singers tongue's in the barmaids mouth
What a voice
Grandpa drunk a drop or two
His heads still stuck in the porta-loo
What a man

[Chorus]
You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breast
The disco's late and he's overpaid tonight
You got a diamond ring
And the man who sings
The man who sings made love to the barmaid twice
And that's just tonight

[Verse 2]
The blue rinsed hairs lift up the chairs
The bands too loud they're off down stairs
What a noise
The bride and groom they dance their dance
And the singer mimes "there's still a chance"
The barmaid smiles
[Chorus]
You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breast
The disco's late and he's overpaid tonight
You got a diamond ring
And the man who sings
The man who sings made love to the barmaid twice
And that's just tonight

You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breast
The disco's late and he's overpaid tonight
You got a diamond ring
And the man who sings
The man who sings made love to the barmaid twice

[Verse 3]
Ha! Grandpa drunk a drop or two
His heads still stuck in the portaloo again!
The bride and groom they dance their dance
The singer mimes "there's still a chance tonight"
And the barmaid smiles