Spoken:
"Hey, Captain, you go! Hey!"
"Hello, George, it all started back before the beginning of time
When the windy wind blew through the trees
And banged against the rocks, creating a beat!"

Natives, Indians, and visitors would long for that sound
Until one day, George, Laditow Bosqueeps Albano
Picked up a big stick and hit a dirt pocket, got it George?
The sound so moved Lanny Toe that he called that sound a beat, a drum
Do you hear my, George? A drum!
And it sounds like this

Ah, music to my ears
And the natives were chanting
"Toya toya mingo solo, Toya toya mingo solo"
Which means, "Turn down turn down me want solo"
And the neighbors were complaining because of the noise
So right from the beginning, rock had a bad name
The neighbors complained, they moved, the new neighbors complained
It was almost like being on tour, George
Till finally they moved to the beach
And that was the first beach band
Led by the great Captain Lou Kahuna Albano
So I started everything, George!
Some say that I'm not wrapped too tight
Captain Lou, Captain Lou, Captain Lou
But when I'm on the scene, everything's alright
Captain Lou, Captain Lou Albano
I'm the man of a thousand faces
I know we'll be goin' places (Hey!)
I'm going to be your guiding light
Captain Lou, Captain Lou Albano

Hey don't worry 'cause I figured it
Captain Lou, Captain Lou, Captain Lou
And I got teeth like Rin Tin Tin
Captain Lou, Captain Lou Albano
I'm the man of a thousand faces
I know we'll be goin' places (Hey!)
I'm going to be your guiding light
Captain Lou, Captain Lou Albano
Captain Lou, Captain Lou Albano

I'm the man of a thousand faces
I know we'll be goin' places (Hey!)
I'm going to be your guiding light
Captain Lou, Captain Lou Albano
Captain Lou, Captain Lou Albano
Captain Lou, Captain Lou Albano
Spoken:
Captain is happening baby
Play this record again brother play it over and over
This is the rock and wrestling connection
Captain Lou Albano took music and made it what it is today
What I did for wrestling, I can do for rock and roll
Took it from an A to a Minor C, and C sharp
Made it what it is
Now listen George
No George don't eat the microphone George no food
I'm the kingdom of rock and roll
I'll be addressing 15 tag team champions

"I am impressed, the history of rock and roll with Captain Lou Albano what about you, Vince?"
"Well that man can sing as well as eat"
"I'll tell you what, it didn't sound to me like he was strumming the rubber bands, it sounded like he was chewing on 'em"
"I'll tell you I was impressed, give me a break, Jesse"
"Give you a break? Who could produce something like that?"
"Wait a minute I believe I've got it here on paper... Vince McMahon? Who is this?"
"Mona Flambé"
"Mona Flamboyant produced that?"
"No, but speaking of flamboyant, that takes us to our next artist..."
"And it's gonna be, the heavyweight champion of the world, the group, the World Wrestling Federation All Stars, here it is: Hulk Hogan's Theme coming up"
"Yuck! Bleck!"