[Verse]
Strapping in the badlands
Twenty BLUs at my feet
No kidding, five more
They're probably gonna kick me
Mowin’ scouts 'til all of the trash it put out
Capping blues like Biggie
Spy said “Was there ever any doubt?”
But in the middle of my fight I turn around, stop
None other than an Engineer relaxing
On his mic, it's Weezer that he’s blasting
Waste no time, quick-switch to my secondary
Pop a couple clips into his beer bottle, glass shredded
Put that yellow-belly on a diet, primarily leaded
I'm a father figure and my parenting is vicious
But we don't do shotgun weddings here
It's only Family Business
They ask me how do I do this?
While I'm maining the Pootis?
Truth is uneventful but I'll grant your wish
All I need to carry is an item called the sandwich
Walked a couple feet when my Med started ringing
It was bad, they were burning and the fat lady was singing
Every healthpack in the area was taken by a Soldier
Who was training rocket-chaining-jumping over—over—over—over
Overtime began and while my doctor screamed for help
I popped my G.R.U. gloves on, ran fast like Shibby when his channel fell
Goin' south, on Dustbowl in a killer drought
This MLB Play so calmly made, my Med foamed at the mouth
And so I tossed up my sandwich
Healed him so fast, I couldn't tell where it landed
Fires extinguished, no airblast is needed
Who knew that bologna was the cure to prosthesis?
Taking a bite really sounds good
But, you know I never would
Food is for friends and my friends are my backbone
Medics heal me fine but never quite as well when left alone
Caught a couple seasons of HL, it’s straight hell
First place medal on team when hackers took the L
Time spent wisely, but it led me to ask
Why spend my time maining Heavy when I’m clearly playing a support class?
Got a lunchbox? Then pass it
Give it to your team, we call that feeding the masses
The bread and the cheese are my body; believe it
It's really no wonder they call me "Heavy Jesus"