[Intro]
I can play this game without a main
Without a main, without a main
I can play this game without a main
Without a main, without a main

[Verse 1]
This year, it seems especially common for me to see Scout mains, Spy mains
Why main one thing? All you've done is gone and gimped our team
If we need an Engi, then you know that I can rep that
Droppin' a dispenser, ain't a need for the healthpacks
Step back, just facts, nothin' personal, kid
Don't believe me? That's just sad
If you need a Heavy on last, got it
Soldier is able to blast, on it
If we need a single thing to give the round a new swing
You know where to find me
I'll be sitting in the rollout
Making ears blow out, thanks to my know how
Switch my tempo up, not even fazed
Now keep on pushing, y'all just feeding
Made it easy like dog chow

[Chorus 1]
'Cause I can top score with revolver
With a revolver, with a revolver
And take down Heavy pockets like they're no bother
Like they're no bother, like they're no bother
[Verse 2]
This year, well it would seem
Uncle Dane shot pass me like an engine
What a fucking shock when all his content is Engi
Where was he when people needed duck sounds to feel less defeated?
I was in the war zone, he was sipping beer, remaining seated
If you need a Medic on call, I'm ready
I'm the Demo with the stickiest bombs, so steady
Go Sniper, go Spy, we're quick, won't die
Though you won't ever catch me out playing Pyro
Fuck the Pyro, fuck the Pyro
Fuck the Pyro, fuck the Pyro
Fuck the Pyro, fuck the Pyro
Fuck the Pyro, fuck the Pyro

[Chorus 2]
'Cause I can win a round with only airshots
With only airshots, with only airshots
And everyone but me just may as well have lost
May as well have lost, may as well have lost

[Trumpet Solo/Spoken Interlude]
I'd like to take a moment to talk about something
I have 300 hours on Heavy
But I also have 300 hours on Scout, so
I don't main anything
Stop saying I main Heavy
I play a lot of Heavy, I like it
That doesn't mean I main him
I play what the team needs
You should do that too
[Verse 3]
Look at me, look at me, [?]
But this game won't ever be alive, it's undead
My skill is greater than you've ever seen
Of niche YouTubers, I'm top of the scene
I can stage a revolution that collapses our economy
Make Co-Pilots expensive like a medieval lobotomy
No thoughts before I speak because kind words are for the weak
I am the king of classes, you're nothing but some sad king of geeks

[Chorus 3]
Because I can win invite in a 1v6
In a 1v6, in a 1v6
And I can stop b4nny like he's just a kid
Like he's just a kid, like he's just a kid
And I can end this game with enough blood
With enough blood, with enough blood
With enough blood, with enough blood, with enough blood

[Outro]
I can play this game without a main
Without a main, without a main
I can play this game without a main
Without a main, without a main