Leonard’s Lament
[Church]
Another day I'm stuck here, another day goes by
Another day I ask myself: why do I even try
These shitheads all around me? They poke and prod and pry
Sometimes I wish that I'd just...
Die!
Tucker: Oh, come on, Church. Your life's not that bad
Caboose: Yeah! Plus you already died once
Church: And whose fault was that, Caboose?
Caboose: Tucker did it
Tucker: Sheila did it!
Sheila: I would rather not get involved in this
Church: All of you shut up! You want to know about my life? I'll tell you
[Church singing.]
My 9 to 5 is filled with misery
My girlfriend's always such a bitch to me
I think my death count's pushing three
I just don't get how this is hard to see
And as I lie awake at night?
I. Just. Want. To. DIE!
Tucker: Oh please! [singing] You're overly dramatic
Doc: You're clearly, asymptomatic
Sheila: Your life is hardly, that traumatic
Caboose: But your girlfriend is half aquatic...
Church: Y'know, I think I change my mind. I, wish, you'd, all, DIE!
[Everyone else chatters]
[Church]
No, really, guys- shut up
I had a whole song planned
Shut up! Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!
[half screaming, half singing]
Living here's not going well!
This canyons my detention cell!
I feel the need to scream and yell!
I wish that you'd all BURN IN HELL!
[Church screaming]
Oh, oh, and it gets worse! I have been to jury duty 37 times! I always get the middle seat on flights! Last year, no one wished me happy birthday! Fuck all of you! Fuck everyone! And fuck this fucking song!
Another day I'm stuck here, another day goes by
Another day I ask myself: why do I even try
These shitheads all around me? They poke and prod and pry
Sometimes I wish that I'd just...
Die!
Tucker: Oh, come on, Church. Your life's not that bad
Caboose: Yeah! Plus you already died once
Church: And whose fault was that, Caboose?
Caboose: Tucker did it
Tucker: Sheila did it!
Sheila: I would rather not get involved in this
Church: All of you shut up! You want to know about my life? I'll tell you
[Church singing.]
My 9 to 5 is filled with misery
My girlfriend's always such a bitch to me
I think my death count's pushing three
I just don't get how this is hard to see
And as I lie awake at night?
I. Just. Want. To. DIE!
Tucker: Oh please! [singing] You're overly dramatic
Doc: You're clearly, asymptomatic
Sheila: Your life is hardly, that traumatic
Caboose: But your girlfriend is half aquatic...
Church: Y'know, I think I change my mind. I, wish, you'd, all, DIE!
[Everyone else chatters]
[Church]
No, really, guys- shut up
I had a whole song planned
Shut up! Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!
[half screaming, half singing]
Living here's not going well!
This canyons my detention cell!
I feel the need to scream and yell!
I wish that you'd all BURN IN HELL!
[Church screaming]
Oh, oh, and it gets worse! I have been to jury duty 37 times! I always get the middle seat on flights! Last year, no one wished me happy birthday! Fuck all of you! Fuck everyone! And fuck this fucking song!