[DAVID]
I hope this won't sound impolite
Or come across as too forthright
But, even though you seem alright, I...
Think I'm better than you!

Now please do keep this thought in mind
That's just my personal conviction
You're smart and fun
You're sweet and kind
I'd call our friendship an addiction

Your shoes are shined, your breath dulce
But still I find I have to say I
Think I might be better than you!

[DANIEL]
You seem impressed with what you've shown
But I don't find it that compelling
You've sung my praise, but not your own
And well, I think that's pretty telling

But while we're on the subject of
How I'm superb and leagues above
You
Ought to know I'm number one!

I know that might be hard to swallow
(La La La La!)
This hurts you just as much as me
(Oooh...)
But when this song is sung then you and I'll know
That you're just a nobody!

[DAVID]
Well, friend I don't know what to say
[DANIEL]
Try starting with your resignation
[DAVID]
Lets end this in the finale
[DANIEL]
I'm dying in anticipation[DAVID]
You're really great, but let me state
You denigrate and seem to hate
The fact I'll break you, abdicate
Before I can asphyxiate, I
Think I might be better than you!
Don't hate me because it's true!
Just know
I'm
Better than...[DANIEL]
You've been outdone
Now I've really won
But it was fun
Your end's begun, and...
Now I know I'm better than you!
And I'll prove it to you too!
So watch as I identify
The skill to show I qualify
Like keeping up this camp charade
And tricking kids to drink kool-aid to sacrifice them-
Oh, wait...