[Verse 1]
This whole big trench belongs to me ‘cause I’m lazy
I reserved it late last spring, when I shot my dog
Think I’ll spend the winter here, until I’m a patient
Send me to Bellview, or else I will smack you
Sometimes things just make no sense

[Chorus]
And when the other flakes fall, I will invest in them all
Send me, you’re tired, you’re weary, you’re hungry
You’re wealthy and usеlessly strong
You all get along
And Simon hates this song

[Verse 2]
I was always too high strung, must’vе been the cocaine
Now, I search for oblivion and free Valium too
Used to be so hard to keep up with Iggy Pop
Now I just keep up with me, and he snorts his own snot

[Chorus]
When the world finally ends, I’ll be an offshores again
I'll have all my cash in the blue shopping bag that I got
Like the strings of my heart
That play like ping-pong
And Simon hates this song
[Bridge]
It’s a pity, all the girls he likes
Aren’t really old enough to drive
Visit me again sometime, when you got an hour
This song takes up so much time, I don’t know why I go on

[Chorus]
Life has more rips in its seams than any novelist dreams
I am so deep, Dear, that I barely keep myself warm
We can go on and on
But that would be wrong
‘Cause Simon hates this song