[Verse 1]
The writer wrote
The singer sung
And they went broke
Turned down by everyone
Passed on by asylum
Met by BMG
RCA and MCA
And finally the big three

[Pre-Chorus]
And the writer said, “I wish you’d hire me”
But you don’t like hearing the truth
It’s all I got left, along with my debts
And lack of youth”

[Chorus]
She said, “Take no chances” (Take no)
“Just tell lies” (Tell no)
“Sell your soul in compromise”
“Take no chances” (Take no)
“Just tell lies
Don’t ask me why”

[Verse 2]
News spoke
The people gasped
The senate broke
While he was sittin’ on his big fat ass
Promises of heaven
Promises of hell
Guess this God’s the only God
That you can buy and sell
[Pre-Chorus]
He said, “Richard Nixon’s a hero
And you’re just a communist stooge
So for the rest of your days, when you call out his name
He’ll be Mr. Dick to you”

[Chorus]
He said, “Take no kissingers” (Take no prisoners)
“Take their wives” (Tell no lies)
“And while you’re at, please take mine”
“Take no kissingers” (Take no prisoners)
“Just take mine”
Shit, here’s the missing line

[Spoken]
There’s no bass!
Where’s the bass?
There’s no bass!
That’s me!

[Guitar Solo]

[Pre-Chorus]
And Simon said, “Why don’t you touch me?
Reach out your hand just like this
You capture my soul, you can grab hold
And aim it while I piss!”
[Chorus]
He said, “You’re my prisoner!” (Take no)
“Tell me lies!” (Tell no)
“Try this tutu on for size!”
“You’re my prisoner!” (Take no prisoners)
“Tell me lies
Don’t ask me why”
Don’t ask me why

[Outro]
Hey, I’m English