So yeah, this first song was inspired by a recent McDonald's campaign you may have seen which posed the question "Is a Big Mac with bacon in it still a Big Mac?"

There's a world that we all live in
And that world is called the world
And it's a fascinating place I'm sure you'll find
There's so much yet to discover, so many things
That we don't know

Which leaves us with all these questions on our mind

Like when you crush a glove of garlic
What happens to it's dreams?
What do color blind people eat
When they're told to eat their greens?
Why is it the more I wax & shave my legs
The hairier they are?
Why is it the less I wax & shave my legs
The hairier they are?

Why are my legs so hairy?

And what the hell is LinkedIn?
Why am I full of religious guilt?
Do you ever think there'll be a day
When cows will drink our milk?
And why do all my stretch marks
Spell out 'Help me' on my belly?
And why are they still playing the
Antiques Roadshow on my telly?
No one cares about your dusty jugs!

Why are posh people taller?
How do you make a career in blogging?
Why are Mars bars getting smaller?
What do dogs think of dogging?
Why does Sambuca make me sexy?
Why does gin make me cry?
Why does vodka make me Russian?
Why does beer make me shit myself?

Does the man who invented Pringles
Look like the man on the Pringles can?
And does the man who's the candy man
Understand that he's the only man that can?
Why do old people wake up so early
When there is nothing to do in their days?
And why does everybody always do what Simon say?

No we're all gonna play Simon Says
Simon says put your hands head
Do it
Simon says put your hands in your ears
.... Hands out your ears

Now take your clothes off. Take your clothes off
We've locked the doors, so take your clothes off
Wait! Simon didn't say it, so you don't gotta do it
What a waste of time

Do you think that somewhere out there
My Tamagotchi is still alive?
And why the sweet lord Jesus would
You name your baby Clive?
And why do people not do things that
They know that they should?
And if gluttony is a sin, why do they make
The wafers at church taste so good?

Why are my toe nails so strong?
Why is my willpower so weak?
If you play this song backwards
Do you hear the Devil speak?
Why are people scared to be happy
And some happy to be scared?
And when it comes to the rights of others
Why do not enough people care?

And why in a 1 & 4 Billion chance to be born
Why were we the ones to be chosen?
Are we even alive or is this death?
Or are we just ghosts with clothes on?
Are we living in somebody else's dream
And when they wake up this will all disappear?
Did you choose to be here or did someone choose you?
Have you done this before is this deja vu?
Have you done this before is this deja vu?
Have you done this before is this deja vu?

And while we've got your attention- Crocs
Ooh, yeah. What are they good for?
Absolutely nothing!

And how much wood would a woodchuck chuck
If a woodchuck did have hands?
And why is my wardrobe full of someone else's pants?
And how big was Big Bird when Big Bird was born?

And why do birds suddenly appear...
When I cover myself in birdseed?

When people go into a toilet why do they always stop to say
"Ew, it smells like piss in here"
Of course it does, it's where you piss
And what's an urban planner?
Where are Piers Morgan's manners?
What's the deal with leather?
Have the Kardashians ruined women forever?
Are slugs just shell-less snails or snails just slugs with shells?

But most importantly of all...

Is a Big Mac with Bacon in it still a Big Mac?!

Who fucking cares!