[Chorus 1: Matt Watson]
Me and my best friends, we love jerking off
But it's November, so we have to stop
Me and my good pals love a good bust
But it's November, so we cannot nut

[Verse 1: Matt Watson]
No masturbatin', no fornicatin', ejaculatin'
No prostate playin', no semen sprayin' for thirty days
No Nut November, can't bust 'til December
Can't spank my turkey, can't do no jerkin'
No burstin' or spurtin'
Can't use no Jergens
Can't go rewardin' my burden of yearnin'
Can't go returning to November 1st
December is lurkin'
My hands are tied to the oath
I gotta keep puttin' work in
My mind is clear like a crystal
Yo Freddie, bring in the chorus
What's up

[Chorus 2: Freddie Dredd]
Fuck my dick, I'ma chop it off
I ain't cummin' no poots, fuck the cops
I don't care what they say, my cum will always stay
In my big fat balls, they ain't small
I would love to cum on them all
[Verse 2: Freddie Dredd]
But I can't, it's a chant to the silly old God
Make me cum when he comes
When the time is right
Won't put up a fight
Let my nutsack hang
My balls are in pain, my girl too hot
Wish I could fuck a lot, but I can't
It's a curse
Put my cum in a hearse
Wait 'til the fucking first
Tsunami from my body
Bitch, I can't wait 'til I masturbate
It's my only fate

[Verse 3: Kill Bill: The Rapper]
Hoe, I ain't spankin' no monkey
Hoe, I ain't chokin' no chicken
Hoe, I won't tickle the pickle
I will not blow no emissions (Woo)
I'm on the holiest mission
I'm with my bros all November
On God, I won't blow another load 'til December
Cold all Winter (Yeah), throw away your lubrication
Spread the word of No Nut November through the nation
I ain't touchin' my penis, I am not grabbin' myself
On the set, I'm 'bout to cop myself a chastity belt, yeah, bitch
[Verse 4: Carson Tucker]
Rollin' through the cut
Trying not to bust, feel it in my gut
All of my cum, has somewhat turned to dust
Take me back to September, 'cause it's No Nut November
Popped off like the toss of a can of Dr. Pepper in my sheets
I didn't mean, to stimulate it
My cream dream seems so illustrative when I sleep
This don't even count, didn't mean to skeet
Never beat my meat
Had to wash my sheets 'cause I tossed all of my seeds

[Chorus 1: Matt Watson]
Me and my best friends, we love jerking off
But it's November, so we have to stop
Me and my good pals, love a good bust
But it's November, so we cannot nut