[Intro]
Dad feels handy

[Verse 1]
Fix the sink, re-mow the lawn
Those landscapers, they did it all wrong
Trim the hedges, paint the deck
Cleaning the gutters almost broke my neck
Build the wife a little birdhouse
Hey you kids, stop jumping on the couch
Driveway starting to get some cracks
Pour some concrete, there, now it's patched
Need myself a 20-pound sledge
To obliterate the neighbor's shed
Error error, ignore ignore
Let Dad rephrase that part of the song
Dad's not jealous of the neighbor's shed
In fact, he'll build his own instead
Apocalypse-proof and ten stories tall
With True Value it's possible

[Chorus]
Oh True Value
You know I love you
Oh True Value
You know I love
Oh True Value
You know I love you
Oh True Value
You know I love
You
[Verse 2]
All the tools to take over the world
Allow the server to rest assured
From vice grip pliers to neutralizers
Dad's prepared for all surprises
This is the store of my electric dreams
I now understand what living means
Dad is now reaching for ultimate power
Like the ultra flow head in the shower
Mom sure did appreciate that
But now she wants a Jacuzzi bath
Lucky for me, I know where to go
The land where the novice all turn pro
I'll show the neighbor how it's done
Electric mower, cut checkered lawn
Follow the orb to the glowing red sign
Let the knowledge absorb then YouTube is mine

[Chorus]
Oh True Value
You know I love you
Oh True Value
You know I love
Oh True Value
You know I love you
Oh True Value
You know I love
(You)
Oh True Value
You know I love you
Oh True Value
You know I love
Oh True Value
You know I love you
Oh True Value
You know I love
You
[Outro]
We know what it takes
True Value