I always thought that I woulda felt different
If I could accomplish my goals
But as I stare off the top of the mountain
I honestly never felt so alone
I never dealt with the demons inside of my head
I don't even know how I could cope
I just been taking my life like a day at a time
But it's been getting hard to ignore
Most of my time, I spend trapped in my mind
Feel like I can't breathe but know that I'm fine
So why do I feel like I'm dying?
I get so jealous when I look around and see everyone living a life without trying
I know it's nothing like minе
They say the pressurе will make me a diamond
But pressure depressing, it feels like my life is defined
By the weight of the world on my spine
I tell my family I'm fine
I know that they know that I'm lying
I feint the heart of a lion
I got a chip on my shoulder
Can't break down and lose my composure
Way too bipolar
I know the world is my oyster
But yet, I'm too caught up in searching for closure
Look in my eyes and I know you see pain
All of the things that I've tamed
Made me feel empty, it's honestly strange
I think I only care about the chase
I think I'm caught up in another maze
Most of the time I wanna run away
Most of my problems, I cannot escape
I tell myself that my problems are fake
Invalidate all the things I create
As long as I'm breathing, then everything's straight
This life that I'm living is barely existence
I question reality, feel so abysmal
I honestly wish that it was different
Since I was still little, conflicted with all of these riddles
I'm careful where I put attention
'Cause energy's real inside of a dimension
I'm filled with emotion and all my intentions
Intendin' to not feel like I'm not so dependent
On all of my vices and all of the stories I'm telling myself
I think my ego just wants me to fail
Can't show the world that I'm honestly frail
Can't show the world that I'm honestly scared
Scared of a world that I don't understand
I said dealing with pain is what made me a man
But I think I was wrong, should've said that instead
Dealing with pain is what made me human