I get clowned for these love songs
But they don't understand it
'Cause I never felt love from my own family
Shit we smiling now
But you ain't see me down and out
16 getting kicked out my fucking house
With no where to go
And no one to call
And now you see me back in school crying in the halls
And it all just seems so great
But I'm trapped in my motherfucking mind and I can't see straight
Everybody telling me that ima be great
But they don't know my pain
They don't know my past
They don't know i hate everything that i am
And there's so much shit that I can't take back
I turning to drugs just to numb the pain
Then everyone I love got pushed away
And I realize everything fades away
Its safe to say there's been so many hated days
And everything will never ever be the same
I'm sick and tired dealing with this pain
And I hate to say how many times suicide has been on my brain
I try to paint a picture with my music
Spent my whole life feeling useless
I'm just being honest
Everything that I speak is facts
Everyone that I thought would hold it down turn they back
I lost everything chasing dreams
I swear this life isn't what it seems
I'm so lonely every single day
I just wanna hear that its gonna be okay
Supposed to be tough
I don't feel that though
To tell the truth I'm scared as fuck that ill never know
What happiness is
What happened to bliss
What happened to us always laughing as kids
Everything around me changing
Parents getting old
I don't know how much they're gonna make it
I really hope they see me make it
I'm human too
I'm vulnerable
I got so many problems you don't know about
Sick of holding a man
I just want to shout, sink or swim
I'm so afraid to drown
But all my thoughts bury me
Feel like I'm a thousand pounds
I don't know if I can go on this way
Every single day another mistake
I keep telling myself I'm gonna be straight
But truthfully I don't know how much I can take