Anxiety been getting to me
Lately I been trapped inside my thoughts
I think I'm finally going crazy
See I started taking pills
Really hoping it would help
I spent my entire life thinking there was no one else
That could understand my state of mind
Like how the fuck I'm scared to go outside
I swear I haven't been the same, since I watch my homies die
I've been dealing with this guilt
This ain't no way to live my life
I don't got no fucking way
What you think I'm rapping for?
Think I'm just saying all this shit just to tell it in a story
You don't know how many hours I spent crying on my floor
Swear I hate the way I think
Sometimes I wish I wasn't born
I don't know why I can't chill
I swear anxiety is real
I've been drinking since thirteen
I've learned to love the way it feels
When I'm fucked up I feel normal
When I'm sober I can't deal
So I understand the reason why that fell in love with pills
Hate to watch my mother cry
Swear it eats at me inside
But it's hard to show emotion
Blame my father for my pride
I've been signing for a while
Now its time that I replied
To these voices in my head that always keep me up at night
I don't ever feel good enough
No, I don't ever show my self-love
It's like I tell myself I'm worthless
I don't feel life has a purpose
I've been going through the motions
Staying quiet just observing
I don't think that I deserve it
I don't know why I can't figure out my problems
I spent so much time running that I never tried to solve them
Alcoholism so common that I'm scared to grab a bottle
Know its running in my family and that never ever stopping them
Ima misfit that wishes it was different
When I look around a room I can't find no one that I fit with
Remember the first month of school I had no I could sit with
Used to cry myself to sleep that's why I hate reminiscing
I'm sick and tired of acting like I'm okay
And that I have my life together when I know its a maze
I'm supposed to have it planned out
I never knowing my way
I swear the past twenty years I've been lost in a daze
I'm still going through it
Making up excuses why I shouldn't have to do it
Making mountains out of molehills to everyone else is foolish
But in dealing with anxiety and I just feel so useless