[COURTESAN]
There was an old zany who lived in a tub
He had so many flea bites he didn't know where to rub
He kept looking for an honest man
Said I'm gonna find him, if I can
If I could meet Diogenes today
This is what I'd say
Rub a dub dub
Hop out of your tub
Diogenes!

Oh, Diogenes!
Find a man who's honest
Oh, Diogenes!
Wrap him up for me
Oh, Diogenes!
Find a man who's solid⁠—stolid
Hook that fish if he's in the sea
Hunt him! Trail him!
Catch him! Nail him!
If he is free
Have you got your stick?
Have you got your lantern?
Can you do the trick
And produce him, please!
Catch that fellow!
Ring that bell
Oh, Diogenes!
[COMPANY]
Oh, Diogenes!
Find a man who's honest

[COURTESAN]
Honest!

[COMPANY]
Oh, Diogenes!

[COURTESAN]
Wrap him up for me

[COMPANY]
For you

[COURTESAN]
Oh, Diogenes!
[COMPANY]
(ge-nes)

[COURTESAN]
Find a man who's solid
[COMPANY]
(solid)
[COURTESAN]
Stolid
[COMPANY]
(stolid)
[COURTESAN]
Hook that fish
[COMPANY]
Doo-doo

[COURTESAN]
If he's in the sea!

[COMPANY]
Hunt him! Trail him!
Catch him! Nail him!

[COURTESAN]
If he
[COMPANY]
(If he)

[COURTESAN]
Is
[COMPANY]
(If he is)

[COURTESAN]
Free!
[COMPANY]
(If he is free)
[COMPANY]
Have you got your stick?
Have you got your lantern?
Can you do the trick
And produce him, please!

[COURTESAN]
Catch that fellow!
Ring that bell, Oh
[ALL]
Diogenes!