Borschtit:
What a wonderful night
What a fabulous sight
I hope you're enjoying your evening
There’s glitz, there's glamour
There's oodles of swagger
Flip-diggity!
I’m barely breathing!

There's wining, there's dining
There's nations combining
I tell ya, my heart is beating
The lights are so shiny
And I can't stop smiling
Just pinch me!
I must be dreaming

And the talk of the town is the one with the crown
The wise, the powerful Prince Feurgin
And our nubile country, oh, it's so lovely!
Come along, let's open the curtain…

Hahahaha!

Company:
Don't we look marvelous?
Isn’t it gay?
Let’s give the prince a big hip hip hooray
His royal highness, he's wise indeed!
Man #1:
I heard he’s so dumb, he can't even read!

Company:
Hahaha!
Master of men, lover of ladies

Woman #1:
He was dropped on his head as a baby!

Company:
The heir to the throne, the leader of Prussians-

Man #2:
I heard his parents were first cousins!

Company:
Just keep on smiling and put on a show
If you are lying, they don't have to know
Whatever you say, don't say what you think
‘Cause we love the Prince…

Susan:
Wink-wink!

Borschtit:
I just love your gown, won’t you please turn around
And tell us about what you're thinking?
Cynthia:
I'm just happy to be here
And happy to see there are so many glasses clinking

Borschtit:
Yes, quite the celebration
Yes, quite the new nation
And the Prince, how do you find him?

Cynthia:
He is qualified-

Borschtit:
Yes!

Cynthia:
He is dignified-

Borschtit:
Yes!

Cynthia:
I'm truly, truly behind him

Borschtit:
I'm sure you don't need to remind him
Cynthia [spoken]:
He belongs in a mental asylum

Company:
Oh, what a party!
It's such a treat!

Woman #1:
Like pulling my toenails right off of my feet

Company:
Our fabulous prince, all the good he will do

Woman #2:
He's dumb as a donkey!

Susan:
And smells like one too!

Company:
How noble, how regal!
The star of the night

Man #2:
He wears a wig-

Man #1:
And lies ‘bout his height!

Company:
His Royal Highness deserves our respect

Susan:
I heard his dick is two inches- erect!

Borschtit:
Hahahaha!

Company:
Hohohoho!

Borschtit:
Heeheehee

Company:
Hohoho ha!

Borschtit:
Jibber jabber-

Company:
Jibber jabber-

Borschtit:
And we're back!
So bold, so daring, this Russian dignitary
His name is Vladimir Poopin

Poopin:
Can't wait for Prussians to get to know Russians
Look forward to our countries' union

Borschtit:
Well, don't you look dashing!
This look?
Smashing!
And what are your thoughts on Prince Feurgin?

Poopin:
He is powerful-

Borschtit:
Yes!

Poopin:
He is wonderful-

Borschtit:
Yes!

Poopin:
A truly spectacular person

Borschtit:
Ha!
Of that, I am certain

Poopin:
He's an idiot, inbred virgin
Blah!

Company:
Don't we look marvelous?
Isn't it fabulous?
Oh, how glorious-

Poopin:
I can't even handle this!

Company:
Oh, what a gathering!
Toh- he's so dazzling!

Man #1:
His stupidity is staggering!

Borschtit:
Hahaha!

Company:
Just keep on smiling and put on a show
If you are lying they don't have to know
Whatever you say, don't say what you think
Whoever you hate, don't make a stink
‘Cause we love the Prince-

Borschtit:
How fancy, how wild!

Company:
We love the Prince-

Cynthia:
He has the brain of a child!

Company:
Here comes the Prince…


Borschtit:
Hahahaha!

Company:
What a wonderful night, what a fabulous sight
The talk of the town, the one with the crown
The Prince
We love the Prince
We love the Prince

Borschtit:
Hahahaha!

Company:
Hohohoho!

Borschtit:
Heeheehee

Company:
Hohoho ha!

Borschtit:
Jibber jabber-

Company:
Jibber jabber-
To the Prince

Susan:
Wink-wink!