[Verse 1]
I went to the craft department
For to buy a fake bouquet
I'll love you 'til these flowers die
And they won't die anyway

Their petals, they are made of fabric
Stem is plastic colored green
They don't need no vase of water
Toughest flower you ever seen

Over time they may get dusty
You just brush that dust away
All they need's a little love
I'll love you like a fake bouquet

[Verse 2]
Sprayed 'em in my Stetson Black
So that you would think of me
Every time you take a whiff
Take a whiff, my honey bee

Bought a card in aisle nine
There ain't nothin' I could say
Hallmark ain't got figured out
Printed up, already made
Cost a bit, but I don't mind
'Cause I ain't got the skills it takes
Nor the time to make a card
To give you with this fake bouquet

[Verse 3]
Some die off in the July heat
Some die off when the yards all freeze
Plastic flowers hold their bloom
Summer, fall, winter, spring

They don't need no certain climate
For to make their petals stay
All they need's a little love
I'll love you like a fake bouquet

When the man comes down to fetch me
And to take my soul away
You'll still have this cheesy card
And this old faded fake bouquet