Wow said the king to the fighters in the ring
I sure do think it's funny
The way you punch and you brawl till you can barely crawl
Are you sure you're only in it for the money?

Good golly said the creep to the cop on the beat
I do admire the way you feel a collar
With all the beating and the showing that ain't so lovey-doving
Are you sure you only do it for the dollar?

I'll be your confidante
Tell me of all your desires
Let me be your confidante
I'll help to put coal on your fires

Wow said the judge to the hooker with a nudge
I'm gonna find you all your pleasure
But with the pervs and the kinks and the queer rinky-dinks
Are you sure you only do it for the treasure?

Hey man said God to the Devil with a nod
I'm gonna fight you for the human race
But if I beat you with a spell and kick you outta hell
Are you sure that I can take your your place?

I'll be your confidante
Tell me of all your desires
Let me be your confidante
I'll help to put coal on your fires
[interlude]

Good golly said the creep to the cop on the beat
I do admire the way you feel a collar
With all the beating and the showing that ain't so lovey-doving
Are you sure you only do it for the dollar?

Hey man said God to the Devil with a nod
I'm gonna fight you for the human race
But if I beat you with a spell and kick you outta hell
Are you sure that I can take your your place?

I'll be your confidante
Tell me of all your desires
Let me be your confidante
I'll help to put coal on your fires