El-P
The Now
[Verse 1]
Daddy's got a new life now
A new daughter and a new male child
A new swagger with some real style
New car, new house, brand-new spouse
Little shitty dog named Klaus
New smile on his mouth
Wouldn't say that we're forgotten, 'cause we developed a plan
Once a month, he takes the time to hang with his old fam
Half a day to let you know he still cares and such
You won't grow apart too much from being out of touch
But he wasn't there for him on the daily, yeah, the basis
In order to drop jewels like, "Stay clear of the racists"
Heavy promises became weightless
Sincerity became fakeness
He's praying for his heart to ache less
Time is passing by, yet his scars remain ageless
He called him on the phone to say, pops
This'll take just a minute of your time
But his wishes were declined
By the disenchanted tone at the end of the line
Hang up, try to look strong in front of mom
Back up, John, stop looking forward to the day you're gonna see him on
Now you're eye to eye and you receive an embrace
From a lost heart that's pumping blood up to a guilty face
He's gonna try to find ways to make up for the last twenty-nine days
Or was it thirty?
I think he heard me
In situations like this, his speech becomes wordy
He's got a hundred million ways to tell me not to worry
But this time, I wasn't hanging on his every sentence
Ears crippled by the pain of negligence or was it vengeance?
He spoke, I couldn't hear a word, I zoned, it looked like I observed
My only thoughts were missing out on love that I deserved
Trying to convince myself I'm weak within the mental
But silence breaks, because a father's guidance is essential
He's lookin' down with a smile
Saying, in the future, we'll be great pals
Yeah, dad, but what about the now?
Johnny, come and leave ya dad alone now
Yeah, it's just you and momma now
Stop the crying now
Just try to smile now
Try to think of other things now
Momma's got another date now
You can get through all the anger and the hate now
Calm down and wipe your face now
I know it seems to be hard but I promise you, we'll make it through somehow

[Scratches]
"And now"

[Verse 2]
Little girl, their firstborn, their sunshine
Never gonna lead her wrong, get it right one time
Here's how it goes
She's off to school then dancing on her toes
At an hour-long ballet class
Then on to the piano
Two hours of repetition
Emulating classic music compositions
Do your homework with precision
By nine o'clock, she collapses in a heap of dizziness
But sleep so tomorrow you'll repeat your busyness
She got straight A's and spoke of her stress
But her Maydays were drowned out by the melees
Of mom and dad trying to blame each other different ways
She'd stop and gaze
Thinkin' how it drives her crazy when their voices raise
This dilemma ruins most of her days
From her, perfection was expected
And it's hectic working hard without receiving any praise
At night, she cries where she lays
Then she wakes up, washes up, smiles and goes along like it's okay
On to high school
There's more intensity within her cycle
She's making all the guys drool
Here come the extra tight rules
No mates, not with college on the plate
Practice hard, study hard, steady focus, keep your head straight
Now she's a nervous wreck, looking to collect
Anything that she can smoke, swallow, drink or inject
When she was mentally gone, she went to the prom
Had dates and actually could sit down, discuss relationships with her mom
But tell me how much pressure can a person take?
Before they break and maybe drugs just aren't a large enough escape?
So one night she turned in but stayed up late
At her desk with a single piece of paper and a Paper Mate
Here's mama for the routine wake at daybreak
What she saw made her knees shake
The death of dear Kate
The note said, "Here's the future of your fuckin' perfect child
Please be proud, I'm living for the now"
Do your work, clean your room now
Take the makeup off your face now
Eat your dinner now
Get off the phone now
Leave the boys alone now
Saturday night, you staying home now
Go to your room and sit alone now
Katie, with the needle, how?
Look, baby, momma needs you now
Breathe now
God, why did this have to be now?

[Scratches]
"And now"
"Now you know"