[JENNY]
I'm Jenny.

[SARA]
I'm Sara.

[JENNY]
She's Sara.

[SARA]
She's Jen.

[BOTH]
Been best friends forever.

[JENNY]
Well, sine we were ten.

[BOTH]
Met at ballet class
And ever since then
We became inseparable.

[JENNY]
The damage was irreparable.
[SARA]
Jen's like my sister.

[JENNY]
And Sara's like mine.

[BOTH]
Friends till the end of the line.

Had nothing much in common.

[SARA]
Loved horses.

[JENNY]
Loved shoes.

[BOTH]
But we were attached at the hip.

[SARA]
Jen was like a goddess,
My mentor and muse.

[JENNY]
She was a nerd and a drip.
[BOTH]
But we would be together every hour of the day.
People would see us and say-

"It's Jenny, and Sara.
Two peas in a pod."

[SARA]
Well, if one pea was perfect.

[JENNY]
And one pea was odd.

First string-

[SARA]
And spare!

[BOTH]
On the volleyball squad.

[JENNY]
Happy and gregarious.

[SARA]
My thrills were just vicarious.
[JENNY coughs]

[SARA, SPOKEN]
Woo.

[JENNY]
She'd point the spotlight.

[SARA]
She'd bask in the shine.

[BOTH]
Friends till the end of the line.

[JENNY]
My skin was just like porcelain,
Hers was all zits.

[SARA]
My pores were perpetually blocked.

[JENNY]
I developed early.
She had no tits.

[SARA]
My cupboard was woefully stocked.

[JENNY]
Why would I be seen
With such a social refugee?

[SARA]
'Cause you always looked good next to me!

[JENNY, SPOKEN]
That's right!

[BOTH, SUNG]
So we were Jenny, and Sarah.
A vulgar display.

[SARA]
The queen of the prom.

[JENNY]
And her weird protege.

I starred-

[SARA]
I ran lights-

[BOTH]
In the school cabaret.

[JENNY]
I mean, have you heard Sarah sing?
Good golly, it's embarrassing.

[SARA sings a feeble note]

[BOTH]
We were contrary forces
Who somehow combine.
Friends till the end of the line.

[SARA]
Then something crazy happened
Right after twelfth grade.
That summer I blossomed and bloomed.
I stepped into the sunlight
After years in the shade
And a beautiful swan was exhumed.

[JENNY]
Meanwhile, I was working
at the local Dairy Queen.
And ballooned up to plus-size sixteen.

[SARA, SPOKEN]
Uh-Jenny-

[JENNY]
Eighteen.
It's just so delicious.

[SARA]
We both showed up to college
And, no need to pretend,
I was popular right off the bat.
And everyone was asking,
"Sarah, who is your friend?
The one who's so-"

[JENNY, SPOKEN]
Interesting?

[SARA, SPOKEN]
"Fat."

(SUNG)
All this malice aimed at Jenny
Was quite startling and new.
So I did what all best friends would do.

I said, I'm Sarah. She's Jenny.
(Beat)
We used to be close.
Now she's desperate, and clingy,
And sort of morose.
I heard she gobbles
Peanut Buster parfaits by the gross.
In all the world is there a sight
More tragic than this parasite?

[BOTH]
So that is our story
And ain't it divine!
Friends till the end of the-

[JENNY]
The cold bitter end.

[SARA]
I guess

[BOTH]
This is the end of the line.