Neil Bartram
Cake (Part 1) (Non-Album Track)
[Catherine, spoken]

He made me a cake.

The boy I love made me a cake. With his own two hands. I don't have a technique for a cake.

I have a technique for a door. You can open a door with your elbows.

The right fabric and a little pressure and you're good to go. Silk doesn't work. No friction.

I developed the technique in public bathrooms. I had no choice. I'd wash my hands, dry them, go to the door, grab the handle-

And wash them again.

Wash,
dry,
door,
wash,
dry,
door,
wash,
dry-

You get it.

It's called a "handle" because other people have - "handled" it.
With their hands.

Hands that have been- I have no control over where those hands have been! That's why I have the elbow technique.

See, the boy I love made me a cake - with his hands.

I don't have a technique for cake!