[JASPER, spoken]
What is that?

[VIRGIL]
That is Cerberus

[Chorus, sung]
Ahhhhh! Ahhhh!

[CERBERUS HEAD #2, spoken]
Brothers! Lately, I have been feeling so existential

[CERBERUS HEAD #3]
Why sister!?!?
Obviously, existence is merely guarding the Gates of Deadland for our master, King Pluto!
I mean, right?

[CERBERUS HEAD #1]
No brother, I think I know what sister means
It isn't OUR existence she wonders about, but human existence!

[CERBERUS HEAD #2]
Perhaps we must think it over together
After all, three heads are much better than one...

[ALL CERBERUS HEADS, sung]
What is life?
A distraction?
A battle?
[CERBERUS HEAD #2]
We wonder it

[CERBERUS HEAD #1 & #3]
We wonder it

[ALL CERBERUS HEADS]
What is life?
Just a catch-all for cattle called humans?

[CERBERUS HEAD #1]
They know it goes so quickly

[CERBERUS HEAD #3]
Yet, dramatize it thickly-

[CERBERUS HEAD #2]
It makes us feel so sickly
Just how fickly they behave

[ALL CERBERUS HEADS]
As corpses come careening
We're hungry for life's meaning!

[VIRGIL, spoken]
Welcome to Deadland...
Please step up, state your name and get your Deadland I.D. and keep it moving!
[JASPER]
Um... Hi, my name is Jasper
Hey, look, I'm not dead. I am very much alive

[CERBERUS & CORPSES, sung]
Alive!
He's alive!

[JASPER, spoken]
Look, I need to get through these gates, my friend might be in there-

[CERBERUS HEAD #3]
Get through?

[CERBERUS HEAD #1]
A live soul?

[CERBERUS HEAD #2]
Through these gates? Ha! I have a better idea...

[ALL CERBERUS HEADS, sung]
What is life?
If we eat you
Might we know?

[JASPER, spoken]
Eat me? Wait! You can't eat me!
[CERBERUS HEAD #3]
And why not?

[JASPER]
You can't eat me...
Because...
Because...
I know the answer to the question you ask!!

[ALL CERBERUS HEADS]
You do?