[Dennis]
Oh, I'm an old broken machine
Nobody tells me what I mean
I had a purpose, I'm pretty sure;
But I ain't got use much anymore
No, I ain't got use much anymore

She used to work me straight to the bell
No woman worked me quite so well
Knew all my buttons, oiled all my gears
Gentle on my lever through the years
Daily on my lever, twenty years!

Then the beltway stops
Circuit's got a bug
Then the breaker pops
And the wires unplug
Shit disconnects
Can't get quite as far
So the lady inspects
To find where the problems are

But my faults are legion
She tries to fix me
Turn me off and on
But my faults are legion
Maybe if she kicks me
Till the defect's gone?
My faults are legion
They go on and on
Yeah, they go on and on
Now my computer's fried to combust
Ain't got a memory I can trust
I laugh a lot, I laugh till I tear
'Cuz I can't recall how we got here
No, I can't recall how I got here

With a ruptured spout
And the fluid spill
I think a light went out...
Guess, it's all downhill
Venting's caked in dust;
Boiler's overflowed;
I am spoiled in rust;
God, why don't I just explode?

'Cuz my faults are legion
No one can fix me;
Turn me off and on
Yeah, my faults are legion
Everybody kicks me
And no defect's gone
My faults are legion
She goes on and on

Oh, I'm an old broken machine
Nobody tells me what I mean
Somebody tell me what I'm for
'Cause she don't need me anymore
Maybe life was better at the store?