There's an island way out in the sea
Where babies grow up on the trees
And it's, oh, so much fun, to swing up in the sun
You have to watch out if you sneeze

[Verse]
You have to watch out if you sneeze
'Cause swinging up there in the breeze
If you happen to cough, you might very well fall off
And tumble down flop on your knees, your knees
And tumble down flop on your knees

[Verse]
And when the stormy winds wail
And the breezes blow up in a gale
There's, oh, such a plopping and flopping and dropping
And fat little babies just hail, just hail
And fat little babies just hail

[Verse]
And the babies lie there in a pile
And grownups come after awhile
And they always pass by any babies that cry
They take only babies that smile, that smile
Take triplets or twins if they'll smile
[Verse]
There's an island way out in the sea
Where babies grow up on the trees
And it's, oh, so much fun, to swing up in the sun
But you have to watch out if you sneeze, you sneeze
You have to watch out if you sneeze

[Spoken Interlude]
All right, it's 5:30 in the morning and that kid has not quit howling for six
Hours. You're getting sort of desperate, breaking out into a cold sweat
Because you know that all those other kids are going to get up in about
Another half hour and they're going to demand cereal and peanut-butter
Sandwiches and milk. And you forgot to get milk. Oh, God. All the paregoric
Is gone. It's gone because you drank it. Things are getting awful bad and
You need something else. Every culture's got one: it's the hostile baby-
Rocking song. You just can't keep all that stuff bottled up inside yourself
You need to let it out some way, or you'd get strange and punch the baby in
The mouth and you can't do that. You'd get an awful big ticket for it, and it
Makes you feel lousy. So you take that baby and you rock it firmly, smile
Sweetly at it and you sing the hostile baby-rocking song:

[Verse]
This is the day we give babies away
With a half a pound of tea
Just open the lid, and out pops the kid
With a twelve month guarantee
[Verse]
This is the day we give babies away
With a half a pound of tea
If you know any ladies who want any babies
Just send them around to me

[Verse]
This is the day we give babies away
With a half a pound of tea
Just open the lid, and out pops the kid
With a twelve month guarantee

[Verse]
This is the day we give babies away
With a half a pound of tea
If you know any ladies who want any babies
Just send them around to me