THIS IS THE SOUND OF A THOUSAND CLAPPING ASSES

I FIND MYSELF INSIDE THE RESTROOM
THE FEAR IS SETTING IN
I APPROACH THE WALL OF MEN
EACH ONE EMPTYING THEIR MEMBERS
I UNZIP MY PANTS
AND BEGIN TO SWEAT PROFUSELY

THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENED
THE MAN NEXT TO ME CAUGHT A PEEK AT MY DICK
THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING
THIS IS WHY I SHOULD HAVE CHOSEN A STALL
IT’ SO HARD TO USE A URINAL WITH A DICK THIS SMALL

I JUST PISSED ON MYSELF

FUCK

THEY SAY ITS NOT THE SIZE OF THE BOAT
BUT IN MY CASE I'M BARELY AFLOAT
IT DOESNT GET MUCH HARDER THAN THIS
NO SERIOUSLY, THIS IS AS HARD AS IT GETS

SOME GUYS DESCRIBE IT AS A TIC TAC
BUT THERE ISN’T A MINI VERSION OF THAT
IT’S MORE LIKE A GRAIN OF RICE
EVERYBODY STOPS BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO LOOK TWICE
IT’S SORT OF LIKE A TEENY TINY MUFFIN
MY DICK LOOKS LIKE A SECOND BELLY BUTTON
I'LL LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF THIS
I'LL NEVER HAVE TO BUY A SINGLE TOOTH PICK
HONESTLY, IT’S LIKE IT DOESN’T EVEN EXIST
I CAN EVEN KEEP MY LEGS CLOSED EVERY TIME THAT I SIT

TEENIE WEENIE
I HAVE THE WORLD'S SMALLEST COCK
TEENY WEENIE
SOMETIMES I FILL MY PANTS WITH MY SOCKS